Stuck With You
by mugglex
Summary: Stubborn as she was, Rose probably couldn't see past the hurt and betrayal to realize the immensity of what he had just done for her. But Jackie hoped that she would be able to… not just for her own sake but also for the equally lost and grief-stricken half Time Lord that sat beside her. Post Journey's End.
1. Chapter 1

**Nope, I do not own Doctor Who, nor it's characters. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfic to get the closure I need all these years post Journey's End! ;)**

**This is my very first fanfic, reviews and suggestions are welcome!**

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Jackie Tyler fumbled with her mobile in the cold Norwegian wind. Fifteen minutes she had been standing there, trying to reach Pete unsuccessfully, while giving her daughter and that daft alien (half alien?) some time to process what had just happened.

"Bloody Time Lord, stranding us on this blasted beach again! I should have known…"

As she waits for the call to connect for the umpteenth time, she looks over her shoulder at Rose and finds her much in the same position she was in ten minutes ago; sitting on a rock with her face in her hands. Although she cannot hear her daughter's cries over the howling wind, the sobs that rack Rose's shoulders paint a very clear picture. The Doctor has broken her little girl's heart… again.

Of course the first time Rose got dumped in this parallel universe was not his doing; heaven knows he would have come back for her if he could have. But this time was different. This time he chose to leave her behind, and while Jackie's heart hurt to see her daughter in so much pain, she couldn't help but send a silent thank you to the Time Lord for loving Rose enough to let her go. Stubborn as she was, Rose probably couldn't see past the hurt and betrayal to realize the immensity of what he had just done for her, but Jackie hoped that she would be able to… not just for her own sake but also for the equally lost and grief-stricken half Time Lord that sat beside her.

"Jacks! Jacks, is that you?" Finally, the call had gone through.

"Pete! Yes, it's me love. We're back! I need you to send a zeppelin for us; we're in bloody Norway! If I ever see that man again, I'm gonna kill him! Nine hundred years old and still can't drive properly. What's the point of that big blue box if it can't even leave us anywhere other than the back of beyond?"

"So you found him, then. I figured you must have when the stars started coming back, but Jacks, are you alright? What about Rose? Mickey? Wait… Norway! Don't tell me, that beach again?"

"Everyone is fine. Rose is here and so is the Doctor… well, sort of."

"They're with you? But I thought you said-"

Jackie sighed, this was going to take a while to explain but she was exhausted and cold, and by the looks of the two behind her, it was going to be a long night. "Oh love, it's complicated."

Pete Tyler chuckled at that, "Right, complicated. When are things not when they have to do with the Doctor?"

"Look, I promise to explain everything but not right now, yeah? Remember that little bed and breakfast we stayed at last time? We'll kip there and take a cab to Bergen in the morning. Can you have a zep waiting for us?"

"Yes, of course, dear. I'll have one waiting at noon."

"Thanks Pete. I can't wait to be home. Tony ok? You haven't been letting him into the sweets, have you? I know you Pete Tyler, he's got you wrapped around his little pinky!"

"He's fine Jacks, just misses his mum. Hurry home, love."

As she hung up, Jackie smiled. She counted herself lucky to have been given a second opportunity at life with the man she loved. At first it had been… difficult. Adjusting to life with someone who looked, talked, and acted like your dead husband was tricky at best. He was and he wasn't _her_ Pete. She herself was and wasn't the Jackie he had lost as well. It had taken a few weeks of false starts and lots of arguments (well, that part was familiar, at least) but in the end they were able to get past it all, find comfort in each other, and start a new life together. It had turned out to be the kind of life they had both longed for but had been denied in their respective worlds. Jackie knew the pain and confusion her daughter was grappling with right now and she ached for her.

She walked over to where Rose and the new Doctor were sitting, one still crying, and the other still looking utterly lost. "Rose, love, we need to get going, yeah? Your father is sending us a zeppelin in the morning but we need to get some rest before the drive to Bergen. I bet that bed and breakfast is still around, let's head there."

Rose's only response was to stand and start walking towards the road. She didn't say a word, or even look back at her mother or the strange new man still sitting there. Arms folded around her middle, hair whipping across her tear streaked face, Rose Tyler walked away looking like an empty shell of her former self. Jackie had a feeling this would be a bit more complicated than her and Pete.

A sudden, loud sneeze drew her attention back to the man sitting on the rock, in that hideous blue suit. He looked up at Jackie, bewildered.

"Come on, love. You're gonna catch cold, you are, sitting there like a lump in this wind. Doctor said you was human now, yeah? I suppose you can get sick like the rest of us now… come on, up you get."

The new Doctor slowly got up and looked over at where Rose was stiffly climbing a bank of rocks up to the road. His forehead crinkled and he let out a low sigh. "She's never going to accept me as him, is she Jackie? And I thought…"

The look of absolute horror and resignation on his face broke Jackie Tyler's heart. She put an arm around the tall, skinny man and gently prodded him forward. "Don't worry, Doctor, she'll come around. It's been a hard day for us all, but things will look brighter in the morning, you'll see."

The Doctor looked down at Jackie and for a brief moment, his features softened and he almost seemed to relax. "So you believe me then… that I'm still him?"

"Well of course I do, you daft alien! How could you look at my Rose like that and not be?"

The Doctor never thought the day would come that he would be so relieved to be in Jackie Tyler's presence. After all the things he'd seen and done, the universe still found small ways to surprise him.


	2. Chapter 2

Rose could hear her mother and the other Doctor trudging along some thirty feet behind her. He kept sneezing and it was starting to grate on her nerves. The real Doctor never sneezed.

Just up ahead she spotted some twinkling lights in the twilight. She never thought she would be returning to this little town. She didn't think she would be returning to this world, period, and so she had said her goodbyes. Leaving her parents, Tony, and Mickey would be incredibly difficult, but it had been both the hardest and easiest decision Rose had ever made. She belonged with the Doctor, it was that simple. Looking back on her preparations with the dimensional cannon, she had even accepted the possibility of death. After all, jumping from one parallel universe to another is risky business, so she prepared herself for many bad outcomes. When Rose set off to find the Doctor she wasn't sure she would be able to, but it had never once crossed her mind that she wouldn't be staying with him if she succeeded.

She chanced a quick glance over her shoulder. Her mum was busy talking away and making wild gestures, more than likely recounting her perilous adventure. The man in the blue suit shuffled along quietly at her side, head down, hands in his pockets. She felt a twinge of guilt as she observed his tense posture. After snogging him senseless, she had just as suddenly shut down at the sound and sight of the dematerializing TARDIS. He had come up beside her, slipping his hand into hers giving it a reassuring squeeze. They'd looked at each other for a moment and then she had turned away as the weight of her momentary lapse of judgment came crashing down on her.

Would the real Doctor have left if she hadn't kissed the other?

This new Doctor had tried comforting her. "I'm still him, "he'd said. "Rose… please, look at me."

But she wouldn't. She couldn't look at that face and see him but not _him_. And so she had sat on a nearby rock and buried her face in her hands, as grief, anger and confusion overwhelmed her. He had joined her and continued to talk to her, softly, urgently. But she shut him out and eventually he too fell silent. She had known then that she was hurting him, but she just couldn't quite bring herself to properly care at that moment.

The Liervik Bed & Breakfast was less than a block away now. She knew she would have to face him sooner or later, but right now she just needed time. Time to think and grieve for the future she had briefly held within her grasp and then lost once more. She also needed to figure out what to _do_ with him. What did he want and expect from her? Was he _really_ the same as her Doctor? They had made it all seem so simple, back on the beach.

"_That's me, when we first met. And you made me better. Now you can do the same for him."_

_Rose had balked at this. "But he's not you."_

"_He needs you, that's very me."_

_Donna had spoken up then, trying to help. "But it's better than that, though. Don't you see what he's trying to give you?" Turning to the new Doctor she said, "Tell her, go on!"_

_Rose had turned questioningly to the other Doctor._

"_I look like him, I think like him. Same memories, same thoughts, same everything. Except I've only got one heart."_

"_Which means?"_

"_I'm part human. Specifically the aging part, I'll grow old and never regenerate. I've only got one life, Rose Tyler." And then his features had taken on a look of insecurity not common for her Doctor. "I could spend it with you… if you want."_

_This stunned Rose momentarily, as she grasped what he was trying to tell her. "You'll gr-grow old at the same time as me?"_

"_Together."_

_She had almost smiled as she shook her head in disbelief and slowly approached him. Extending her hand, she placed it over his chest and felt the steady beating of one lonely heart. _

_Behind her the Doctor was digging in his pockets. Suddenly he threw the other a chunk of TARDIS coral, making travel through space and time a possibility for them once more. Donna piped up and stunned everyone by rattling off how to accelerate the coral's growth. The Doctor in blue positively beamed. Then the TARDIS had groaned and the Doctor was explaining their need to leave quickly. Rose felt a panic suddenly rising within her. As he turned towards the TARDIS she had run after him._

"_But, it's still not right! Cuz' the Doctor… is… is still you."_

"_And I'm him."_

_Not knowing what else to do and not quite believing what she was being told, she countered, "Alright. Both of you, answer me this. When I last stood here on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me?"_

_The Doctor's eyes had never looked so ancient and tired. He remained silent._

"_Go on, say it," she encouraged._

_His brows furrowed and he spoke, "I said Rose Tyler."_

"_Yeah, and… how was that sentence going to end?" she continued to prod._

_Shaking his head slightly he responded softly, "It doesn't need saying."_

_He was about to leave her and still he denied her this one thing? Anger threatening to overwhelm her, she turned to the Doctor in blue, desperate to know if he truly was who they claimed him to be._

"_And you Doctor? What was the end of that sentence?"_

_This new Doctor had taken a step closer, and placing his hand on her arm leaned in and whispered those words she had long been waiting to hear, "I love you."_

For a moment they just stared at each other, Rose and this other Doctor. Then before she could even process what she was doing, she had found herself in his arms, kissing him with all the pent up love, despair, and hope she had been holding onto for all those years. He responded instantly and with just as much urgency, pulling her close. His arms encircled her waist as hers found their way up around his neck, and into that glorious hair.

And then, she heard the TARDIS groan and in that instant, before she even had the chance to pull away and confirm with her eyes, she had known he was gone .How could she have been so stupid? While she was busy kissing one, the other had walked away forever. Of course he'd left her. Why wouldn't he when she had so clearly sent him the message to shove off?

As she reached out to open the entrance door to where they would be spending the night, she sighed and gave her head a little shake. The rational part of Rose's brain reminded her of something she would rather have not acknowledged. While she was busy berating herself for bringing about her fate with one impulsive kiss, the fact remained that the Time Lord had brought her back to this beach having very much already made up his mind to leave her behind.

Quiet footsteps and a muffled cough alerted her to the fact that Jackie and the other Doctor had caught up with her. She could feel him shuffling awkwardly behind her. Hand on the doorknob, Rose briefly closed her eyes, took a steadying breath and turned to face him. "Well, I guess we better get you out of the cold before you get sick, yeah?" She looked up searchingly at this new Doctor who seemed so sad and genuinely surprised to have even been addressed by her. This made Rose squirm inside… she hadn't meant to make him feel so insignificant. She gave him a small smile and then turned back around, ushering them quickly inside. As she walked past, Jackie gave Rose's arm a little squeeze and a pointed look at the Doctor's back.

This would be a difficult night, but not just for Rose, Jackie was trying to remind her.


	3. Chapter 3

Night had fallen over Bad Wolf Bay, the winds had calmed and the skies cleared. From his balcony door, the Doctor could see the many new constellations this universe had to offer. Fingers rubbing circles over the porous coral, the Doctor smiled as he felt the TARDIS's hum within his mind. It wasn't as strong as what he was accustomed to feeling, but still, it was a comfort for this half human Time Lord. With the proper materials and just the right amount of jiggery pokery, he felt confident that he would be able to grow a full TARDIS in a relatively short amount of time, thanks to Donna's ingenuity.

Thinking of his best mate, the Doctor felt heaviness settle deep within his chest. He knew what his other self would have to do, what he probably already _had_ done. Donna's human brain would not be capable of handling a Time Lord consciousness and unless he removed it, she would be lost. It was a cruel injustice, what he would have to do, for both the Doctor as well as this brilliant woman who had finally come to the realization of how important and valuable she truly was. Unused to the sudden influx of such strong emotions, this Doctor had to shut his mind to those thoughts… for now. He was good at running, but he knew that eventually he would have to face this.

Needing a distraction, he decided he would do a full inventory of his new body and its physiologic functions. In the past few hours he had already encountered many little things that were jarring to him. He felt the thrill and nervousness that usually accompanied the moment before he stepped out of the TARDIS every time he landed somewhere new. Being half human? This would certainly be an adventure. He closed his eyes and with a grin thought to himself, "Allons-y!"

First things first: his brain. As the Doctor monitored his neuronal activity, he was pleased to find that not much had changed. There were a few structural differences within his prefrontal cortex, however, which explained some of the personality quirks he had noticed. No doubt, this was a contribution of Donna's. His Time Lord senses were mostly intact, although his ability to sense timelines was markedly diminished. This would take some getting used to.

Next: cardiovascular system. His lone heart was beating at a steady rate of 80 beats per minute; unusually fast for what he had considered normal before, but just right now that it had to do double the work without its partner. He still seemed to possess some measure of control over its rate and contractility, as well as his vessels, but not much. Well… that was annoying.

Right, moving on, lungs: Wow, those were quite different as well. He took a deep breath and held it. Within minutes he realized this new body was much more dependent on higher levels of oxygen. No more respiratory bypass. Remembering all the times his previous incarnations had survived attacks and misfortunes with this particular Gallifreyan trait, the Doctor sighed. This was starting to get frustrating. How did humans live with these pathetic bodies?

As he continued down the list he grew more and more agitated. He knew his life would be infinitesimally short in comparison to his full Time Lord counterpart, but he was starting to realize it would also be full of annoying inconveniences and limitations.

Last on his list, and perhaps the most unsettling, was this alarming flood of hormones. Over the course of his travels, the Doctor had quickly learned how easily his human companions were swayed by these chemical compounds, constantly flowing through their bloodstream. He shuddered as he recalled many instances in which he had been forced to take refuge in the TARDIS library until his companion (usually a female) managed to get a hold of themselves after a particularly sudden fluctuation. He wondered how drastically he would be affected by this particular change in physiology. Already he had been given a small taste, when Rose had snogged him within an inch of his sanity back there on the beach. It had been so utterly overwhelming, both pleasant and alarming. The Doctor swallowed and took a deep breath. As a full Time Lord he had often scoffed and looked down on this human frailty. Gallifreyans never allowed their body to rule their minds, that was positively barbaric.

As his thoughts turned to Rose, the Doctor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Things were not going very smoothly. That kiss on the beach had certainly raised his hopes, but then she had withdrawn and the painful reality set in. Rose felt betrayed, and to her, he was just a look-alike consolation prize. As they had walked from Bad Wolf Bay to the nearby town, Jackie had offered words of encouragement, telling him of her adjustment period to this world's Pete Tyler.

"She just needs some time Doctor, but you stay on her, you hear? Don't let her push you away. My Rose is a stubborn one, I should know, but she'll come 'round. She just needs to get used to the idea of _this_ you and let the other one go."

When they arrived at the little bed and breakfast, Rose had spoken a few quick words to him before stating that she was exhausted and was going to bed. He had walked silently beside her, hands in his pocket and heart pounding in his throat, until they had reached her door. "Goodnight Rose. I hope you sleep well," he had told her quietly. She started to open the door but stopped and halfway turned to him. Looking up she met his gaze for a moment before averting her eyes again and mumbling a quick goodnight, after which she walked into her room and promptly shut the door behind her.

Once in his room, the Doctor had tried going to bed as well. This new body tired easily and he felt a strange heaviness that he hoped meant he'd fall asleep quickly. He had removed his trainers and lay on the soft bed, tossing and turning for a few minutes. Although his body was certainly ready for sleep, his mind was not. While most of his mental Time Lord capabilities were intact, it seemed that his ability to control his state of consciousness was not. That is what had brought him to the balcony door, seeking solace in the starry skies above.

Without having to look at the clock on the opposite wall, the Doctor's time sense told him that he had been standing there for two hours, thirty four minutes, and twenty seven seconds. He gave a great yawn and turned towards the bed, wondering if he would be able to rest now. If he couldn't shut off his mind, he would at least let his body rest, and hope that it would be enough. It would probably take a while to figure out how much sleep this body would need but if he were going by how he currently felt; his guess was that it would be considerably more than his other self.

The Doctor lay back down and made an effort to slow his heart rate and breathing down. He started rubbing circles again on his TARDIS coral, reaching out mentally to its hum, in an attempt to calm his mind. Within a few minutes, a pleasant heaviness of body and fogginess of mind began to overtake him and with the last of his wakeful consciousness, the Doctor let out a sigh, a small smile on his lips. Just as he was letting go of the last tendrils of wakefulness, there came a soft knock on his door, followed by Rose's voice.

"Are you awake… Doctor? It's me, Rose."

The man in the blue pinstriped suit shot upright, eyes wide open, and suddenly very much awake.


	4. Chapter 4

Rose panicked. What was she doing? Was she really ready?

She had never intended on anything other than collapsing onto her bed, praying that a dreamless sleep would overtake her quickly. But it hadn't. She tried taking a warm shower in the hopes that the steam would soothe her. Rose didn't think she had any tears left in her but as the hot water pounded on her back, she broke down once more, as her thoughts inevitably turned back to the Doctor… not the human one in the room next door, but the one who was now back in her old universe, traveling the stars without her.

Did he really think leaving her with a human copy of himself would be enough to negate the fact that he had left her behind after all she had done to get back to him? While she knew he cared a great deal for her, she was beginning to realize that she must have really misjudged how much, regardless of what his human counterpart had whispered in her ear. Humiliation overtook her as she recalled how she had cornered him, trying to force him to say those words. And now she was left behind, to pick up the pieces of a broken life, again… only this time with a constant reminder of the face she wanted to hate so badly but couldn't manage to because she loved it so very much.

While waiting on the innkeeper to bring them their room keys, her mum had pulled her aside while the Doctor stood by the entrance fireplace, picking up random knickknacks and rifling through books on the mantel. Jackie Tyler had given her daughter a gentle hug and then held her out at arm's length, to ensure that she was listening.

"Sweetheart, I know you're hurting, but listen to me… that man over there didn't ask to be left here either. "

Rose couldn't do this right now. She closed her eyes. "Mum, please. Don't, yeah? I just-"

"I know love, I know. Just promise me you won't do something you'll regret later, sweetheart. I don't understand much about what happened or where he came from, but it's obvious that he loves you. Don't do anything stupid before you've had a chance to really think about things, ok?"

Rose had sighed and looked over her shoulder. He was standing squarely in front of the fireplace, shoulders hunched, hands back in his pockets, staring intently at the fire. He looked exhausted.

"But he's not _him_ mum."

Jackie gave her daughter a sad smile. "No, he's not. And neither was Pete. But we made it work, didn't we?"

Rose began to object, knowing her mother would approach it from that angle, but Jackie had cut her off.

"I know it isn't the same, but Rose, we both had to learn to love again despite the painful reminder staring us in the face each day. You know how much I missed your father but Pete never _replaced_ him. You don't have to forget him, love… but please, don't shut the door on something that could make you happy just because it isn't exactly what you wanted."

And with that Jackie Tyler had given her another tight hug, taken the keys to her room from the innkeeper, and marched off with one more backwards glance at the man by the fireplace. The Doctor had looked up just then and his gaze followed Jackie out of the room before snapping back to Rose. She had never been more terrified than at that moment, alone with the man that was both so familiar yet a complete stranger to her. Not knowing what else to do, she had decided to follow her mother's advice. She needed time to think before anything else happened.

"Well, I'm exhausted… I'm going to bed," she managed to get out.

Sensing her need for space he had just nodded and followed after her, quietly. They said an awkward goodnight at her door and Rose had then quickly retreated to the solace of her room.

Done with her shower, she was now back in bed, trying desperately to shut her mind off. She was so exhausted; her body aching from a combination of today's events as well as the accumulated wear and tear of weeks of jumps in the dimensional cannon. She couldn't remember the last time she had had more than a few hours of sleep in weeks. Rose had a feeling tonight would be another one of those sleepless nights.

From her bed she could see the sky through a window. She let out a quiet sigh, relief flooding through her that at least one thing had gone according to plans that day. The stars were back. Without meaning to, her thoughts turned to the man next door. She momentarily wondered if he felt their pull as much as she did and then quickly chastised herself. Of course he must, probably more so than she ever could or would. If he really was the Doctor and shared his every thought and memory, then he had lost much more than just his TARDIS today. That problem might not be permanent, but there were plenty other things he had been forced to give up by the Time Lord. And even with this knowledge, he had still given her what _her_ Doctor had refused to.

For the second time in an hour shame overwhelmed her.

Not knowing what she would say, but suddenly feeling the inexplicable need to be near him, Rose climbed out of bed and got dressed again. She made two cups of tea in her little kitchenette, the routine of a ritual practiced so often calming her. Within a few minutes she was standing outside his door waiting for him to answer. It was then that she had panicked.

Her courage failing, she started turning back towards her room when suddenly the door opened and there he was, wide eyed and looking a bit out of breath.

"Rose! Yes, I'm awake!" he practically yelled as he gave her that manic smile she so loved.

Unable to control herself, a quiet giggle erupted from her lips as she took in the sight of his crumpled up suit and hair sticking up every which way. He certainly _looked_ like her Doctor.

His grin softened and eyes twinkled at her tiny laugh. His heart stuttered and then picked back up, double time. Taking it as a good sign that she was standing there with two steaming mugs, the Doctor opened his door a bit wider and stepped back. "Do… do you want to come in? I mean, if you want… Or not, you don't have to; we can talk right here if that suits you better! Lovely hallway, this! Oh, brilliant, look at this Rose, it's a White-throated Dipper!" he said pointing to a painting on the wall opposite his door. "This is Norway's national bird, well I'm not sure about here but it is back on the other Earth. Absolutely marvelous little creatures, they are! Did you know that these little guys are said to be able to walk underwater, thereby defying the laws of specific gravity? They really can't, of course, but they use their wings to hold themselves down and with their tiny talons they grip-"

"Doctor!"

His mouth snapped shut with an audible click.

"Can I come in for a bit? I just… I thought maybe we could talk… I mean, if you're not tired… or we could just talk tomorrow, that's fine, too. I- I guess it's late and we do have an early drive to Bergen. Sorry, I'll let you get back to bed." Now it was Rose's turn to ramble.

The Doctor relaxed a bit and smiled again.

"Oh no, I'm fine Rose, really. Besides, wouldn't want to waste a good cuppa!" He took his mug from her with a wink as he walked back into his room and motioned for her to follow.

Rose said a silent plea that this wasn't a mistake and walked in after him, shutting the door behind her. The Doctor was heading towards the couch by his fireplace. She followed. He sat at one end and she sat on the other, putting her mug down on a table in front of them. They both pretended to be momentarily distracted by something; the Doctor blowing on his tea and then taking a sip as Rose picked at some lint on her jumper. An awkward silence stretched out between them and when it had become deafening, they both looked up and started talking.

"Rose, I'm so glad you-"

"So… I just wanted to-"

They smiled nervously at one another and cleared their throats. Rose brushed a stray hair away from her face. The Doctor stayed silent and let her collect her thoughts. He really had no idea what to say to her and perhaps it would be best if she led the conversation. He didn't want to muck things up when she had finally decided to speak to him.

"I… I just wanted to apologize. I'm sorry for how I reacted, back there on the beach. That wasn't very fair of me."

"Rose, you don't have to apologize. I know this is hard for you, and I'm so sorry… I wish there were something I could do to help."

At this, Rose felt herself losing composure again and she cursed the tears that began to slowly make their way down her face. This had been a bad idea.

In an instant, the Doctor was by her side, having crossed the empty space between them without a second thought. Instinctively his hand sought out one of hers and he held it, brushing his thumb over her knuckles, a familiar and soothing gesture to them both.

For a short while Rose said nothing, trying to reign herself in. Neither did the Doctor, he just continued to hold her hand. This time the silence was not awkward. Hurting and confused as she was, Rose felt gratitude for the man sitting next to her, holding her hand, concern emanating from him even though he was in equal need of comfort and reassurance. She knew she needed to give him a chance, but first she needed to make peace with what had occurred on that beach just hours past. This meant she needed answers, and if he was who he said he was, he _should_ be able to give them to her.

"Doctor… you said that you have the same thoughts and memories and feelings as him, right?"

"Yes Rose, that's correct."

"So, what you said to me on the beach…"

The Doctor groaned internally, he knew where she was going with this and wondered how he would explain his other self's actions without hurting her further.

"You're wondering why he didn't tell you."

Rose nodded, unable to meet his gaze.

"Oh Rose… do you remember what I said to you, outside that little café, that night with Sarah Jane?"

"You mean when I asked you- _him_ if he would ever leave me behind like he left her. The night when he promised that I was different?" Rose could feel anger welling up inside of her again.

"Bugger, maybe that wasn't the best way to approach things," he thought to himself as Rose suddenly looked up at him in defiance.

"Yes, that night. But Rose, listen… you asked why I- he had never mentioned her before. Do you remember the answer to that question?"

Rose pulled her hand away, but still needing to hold onto something, she reached for her tea. After taking a sip she kept the mug in her hands and stared at the dark amber liquid as it shook slightly.

"Yeah, I remember. Something about humans withering away and dying…. And having to live on alone, without us."

"Right. Losing everyone you love, the curse of the Time Lords, Rose. "

And just like that, at the sound of his agonized voice, she felt her anger dissipate as she looked back up and met his tortured gaze.

"You may think it's not true because he didn't say it, but Rose, it's _because_ he feels it that he _couldn't _say it."

Rose searched his face, looking for that familiar look her Doctor would often get when he was hiding something from her. The blank, almost detached look he had given her at the beach when she practically begged him to tell her. She couldn't find it now however, not on this face.

"But… I would have stayed with him, forever. I'm sorry… I don't say that to hurt you, but I would have. I hurtled myself through endless universes just to find him. For years I thought of nothing other than how to get back to him… and then I did, and he… he just _left_. I don't- I just can't… how do you do that to someone you love?"

And with that Rose Tyler lost hold of the last shred of control she had managed to regain and found herself weeping again, only this time she was not alone. The Doctor wrapped his arms around his beautiful pink and yellow girl and pressed a feather light kiss to the top of her head. He began to gently rock her as she sobbed uncontrollably; wishing he had two hearts again, for perhaps it wouldn't hurt quite so badly if they had each other to share the pain.

He held her for a long time, and she allowed him to. It was so disconcerting to be sobbing about another man in the arms of someone who looked, sounded, and even smelled like him. But it also felt right, like she was home again… except that she wasn't. This wasn't _him_ and she knew that she would have to accept that and move on, but she didn't know how… or even if she could.

As she began quieting down, the Doctor began talking again, softly, trying not to upset her, but needing to be heard.

"Rose Tyler… please, _please_ believe me when I say that leaving you was the hardest thing he has had to do in a very, _very_ long time. But he did it so that you could live the kind of life you deserve to live, and be loved the way you need to be loved. He knew he couldn't give you that, Rose… not the way you would have wanted. I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry."

Slowly she pulled herself out of his arms and met his gaze once more, searching for any trace of deceit or avoidance. What she found instead were a pair of equally red eyes, and a face that conveyed a mixture of despair and hope, warring one with the other.

"And you… you want to give me that, Doctor?"

Closing his eyes and resting his forehead on hers, he let out a long, slow breath, and cupped her face in his hands. Eyes still closed he responded, "If you will let me, Rose, I will spend the rest of my days trying to make you as happy as you have made me. I will tell you every day, a million times a day if that's what it takes, how very much I love you." And with that he placed a kiss on her forehead and leaned back, giving her space and effectively handing her his only heart to do with what she saw fit.

Rose took a deep breath and reached out with her hand, once again placing it over his heart the way she had done earlier that day. She could feel it racing beneath her palm and without averting her gaze, as she had done many times this evening, she asked, "Will you give me some time? Please, I… I need you to be patient with me, Doctor."

"Of course, Rose. Take all the time you need, I'm not going anywhere," he said with a sad smile.

Her heart broke (for him this time) as she contemplated this man who was and wasn't her Doctor but who was showing more love and kindness than she deserved at the moment. She wasn't being fair to him, she knew, as guilt wormed its way into her stomach.

"Goodnight, Doctor… and thank you," she said as she leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek. She returned to her room and crawled into bed, clothes and all, falling asleep within seconds.


	5. Chapter 5

Morning couldn't have come quick enough for Jackie Tyler. She longed to get back to her little boy and husband and hoped that today's long day of travel would go smoothly. As she got up and began to get ready, she wondered how things had gone last night for Rose and the new Doctor. She hoped that at the very least the situation between them hadn't gotten any worse… heaven knows it would be a long enough trip without the added awkwardness between those two.

She was gathering the last of her belongings when there was a knock at her door. It was Rose, and while she looked tired, Jackie was relieved to see her looking much better than she had imagined she would.

"Well, you look like you got more sleep than I expected," Jackie told her daughter as she gave her a quick hug.

Rose sat down on the bed and nodded, stifling a yawn. It hadn't been as much as she would have liked, but definitely far more than she had anticipated she would get.

"Yeah… I didn't think I would be able to sleep at all, actually. I tried for a few hours but couldn't turn my mind off."

"That's what I feared, sweetheart… but you managed, then?"

"I did… well, after I talked to him."

"Oh? And how did that go?" Jackie stopped what she was doing and sat down next to her daughter, ready for more tears.

Rose gave her mother a small smile and shook her head in disbelief. "He's so different… so much more open than the Doctor. But I guess he can afford to be."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Rose sighed. She wasn't quite sure she understood it all that well herself, but she had a feeling that letting herself accept it would play a big part in whether or not she could build a future with this new man.

"Mum, he told me he loved me."

"Well, of course he does. Anyone can see that, Rose!"

"But if _he_ does then the Doctor did too."

"Oh love… did you really ever doubt that?"

"But mum, he _left_ me."

"Rose Marion Tyler, now you listen to me. That man loved you enough to walk away when he saw that you had a chance at a happy life here. With a man that could love you and age with you… give you a normal life, _here_ with your family, Rose! Now I know I haven't always liked him much, but I will always be grateful to him for keeping you safe and bringing you back home, even now, at an incredible cost to himself."

Rose got up and walked over to the balcony door. Unlike yesterday it was sunny outside, the wind calm. She took a deep breath, willing herself to stay calm. She understood what both her mother and the other Doctor were telling her, but it still stung.

"I know mum. I just… I don't know how I will ever be able to look at his face and not hurt."

Jackie went to her daughter's side and put her arms around her shoulder. She wished she could take this burden from her, but knew that only time would be able to do that.

"Sweetheart, give it some time, yeah? You never know… he might surprise you."

Rose looked at her mother and gave a small chuckle.

"He already has. Last night he… he was so kind, mum. I know this can't be easy for him either. The things he said… the Doctor never would have. It's like it was so easy for him."

"Maybe it is."

"I suppose it will take some getting used to. The differences, I mean."

"It probably will, Rose. Don't you remember all the rows Pete and I had when you and I first got here?"

Rose laughed and ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head. "Do I ever… It's a good thing the mansion's so big!"

Jackie smiled at her daughter and pulled her in for another quick hug. "You're right; it certainly helped when we both needed some space… Well come on then, let's get going, we have a long day ahead of us. You better go and find that Doctor of yours, make sure he hasn't gotten himself into any trouble! I'll meet you downstairs for breakfast, yeah? "

Rose nodded and set off to find him, wondering how things would feel between them today. Perhaps it was the conversation they had last night or maybe just the fact that she had finally gotten several hours of uninterrupted sleep, but whatever the reason, she had awoken feeling not quite so miserable.

Arriving at his door, Rose knocked. She hoped she could keep her emotions in check today; she certainly would try very hard to. Again she knocked, wondering if he had already gone downstairs in search of a banana or something. She rolled her eyes but smiled at the thought, and decided to try the door just in case, before heading downstairs. She didn't remember hearing him lock it last night.

Sure enough, it was unlocked.

Rose peaked her head in and looked around. "Doctor?" she called out softly.

No answer.

She let herself into the room and as she walked forward a few steps, a maroon trainer caught her eyes. It was attached to a blue clad leg hanging off the end of the couch, in front of a now cold fireplace. As she stepped around the couch, she was greeted by an unusual sight… a sleeping Doctor.

He was sprawled out rather awkwardly, an arm thrown across his face, his suit jacket open and bunched up high on his chest. Rose smiled, she hadn't been able to catch the Time Lord this relaxed and off guard very many times during their travels. It had been so uncommon to find him in such a state that she had considered each of those instances a rare gift. She wondered if this half human Doctor would require more sleep… it certainly seemed so.

Kneeling on the floor by his head, Rose spoke up a bit louder this time.

"Doctor? Doctor. Come on, wake up!"

Slowly and with a few incoherent mumbles, the man in front of her came to life. At first he seemed a bit disoriented but at last his eyes locked onto hers and he sat up abruptly, swinging his legs down onto the floor and scrubbing his face with his hands.

Rose bit her lip and tried to suppress a smile.

"So… you sleep now?"

"I've always slept, Rose… just not this much. Time Lords are _much_ more efficient, you know, even in our sleep! Blimey, that's revolting!"

"Pardon?"

"The way you humans sleep away a third of your lives! What a waste! I really can't be doing this! No matter, I'm sure this was just a result of the excess regeneration energy he siphoned into my hand… I've always needed a bit more sleep after going through that process; it can be a bit dodgy, you know."

Rose shook her head and smirked. "Yes, I know but I hate to break it to you, Doctor... you will probably need a bit more sleep than a couple of hours every few weeks. You're half _ape _now, remember?"

"Nonsense, I don't think-"he retorted but was interrupted mid-sentence by a rather grand yawn. A look of outrage clouded his features and Rose gave an amused snort.

"Rose Tyler, I do believe you are mocking me!"

The indignant expression on his face coupled with his rats nest hair was finally too much for her and she collapsed back onto the floor in a fit of giggles. The Doctor opened his mouth to chastise her but as he saw Rose in her first true moment of unguarded ease since they arrived here yesterday, he just smiled his lopsided grin at her and shook his head. After a few moments he joined her on the floor by the couch and sat cross legged, waiting for her laughter to subside.

"So, how did you sleep last night?" he asked when she had quieted down.

"Better than I thought I would, thank you. I… I'm glad I decided to come talk to you."

"I'm glad you came too. "

She could tell he wanted to say something else but was once more letting her take the reins in the conversation; afraid to push his luck, perhaps? His hesitancy was endearing, but as surprisingly comfortable as she was feeling, all of a sudden, she knew they needed to get going.

"Well, mum is downstairs waiting for us. We need to hurry and eat a quick breakfast so we can get going. We have a two hour car ride to Bergen to meet up with the zeppelin Pete is sending for us."

"Right. We better get going then!" responded the Doctor as he rose quite suddenly and extended a hand to her. She took it and let him pull her up, a bit surprised when she found herself in one of his bear hugs. Just as suddenly, though, he let go and gave her a shy smile as he backed away slowly and pointed over his shoulder at the loo.

"I better… um, I'll just be a moment," he said rubbing the back of his neck.

When he had closed the door behind him, Rose walked to window, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her heart was racing and she wished her traitorous body wouldn't react so to his familiar touch. This was going to be hard enough for her mind and heart, now at war one with the other, without having to add silly hormones to the mix.

When he emerged his suit was back in order, as was his hair, in its usual perfectly tousled disarray.

"Right, breakfast then! Do you think they'll have bananas? Oh I'd _love_ a banana, Rose, wouldn't you?"

Shaking her head and rolling her eyes once more, Rose Tyler smiled up at him and began walking towards the door.

"I don't know Doctor, but I'm sure we can manage to find one in Bergen if they don't have any downstairs… come on, mum's probably on her way up here to see what's taking us so long."

With a look of mock horror on his face, the Doctor held out his hand to Rose once more. She took it and gave him a hesitant smile. A grin spread across his face and with a gentle squeeze he tugged her out of the room and down the stairs.


	6. Chapter 6

Much to the Doctor's delight, the innkeeper did indeed have a few bananas. He promptly began working his way through them while praising the benefits of potassium between mouthfuls. Jackie looked on apprehensively as he finished his third and started on a fourth.

"Now that I've only got one heart, I have to take extra good care of it. Potassium is excellent for the ol' ticker, Jackie!"

"Sure it is, but you probably only have one stomach now too, you plum! Don't start moaning when your belly starts to ache, you hear? And you better not even _think_ about getting sick on that car ride!"

"I've only ever had the one stomach… Who told you I had two?" asked the Doctor, immediately turning to Rose who shrugged and shook her head.

"No one, but who knows what all you used to have two of… I asked Rose once, but she didn't seem too keen to share. Never did get a proper look when they got you in Howard's jimjams… "

Rose choked on her tea, cheeks flushing red.

The Doctor stared at the two women, confused. Deciding he would never understand half of the things those two got on about, he shrugged his shoulders and went back to eating his banana.

Jackie seemed to have awoken quite refreshed and in her usual talkative mood. As the miles stretched on, she told the Doctor all about her new life; the perks of being married to a multimillionaire, all the new charity functions she regularly attends, and of course, her son Tony.

The Doctor smiled, nodded, and ooh and ahh'ed at all the appropriate times but his mind was really on the woman sitting beside him. Rose had become quiet and withdrawn again, mostly staring out the window at the passing scenery.

Reaching across the empty seat between them (Jackie had chosen to sit up front, claiming even he wasn't skinny enough for all three of them to fit back there comfortably) the Doctor covered Rose's right hand with his left. She emerged from her thoughts long enough to glance over at him and give a small smile. Looking down at their hands, Rose flipped her palm over in order to intertwine her fingers though his.

"You ok, Rose?"

"I'm fine, Doctor," she replied softly and turned away again, continuing to look out the car window.

They both knew she wasn't fooling anyone with that response, but he decided not to prod and Rose was grateful for it. Instead, the Doctor gave her hand a gentle squeeze which she reciprocated. The last forty five minutes were spent in relative silence, with the exception of Jackie's conversation with Pete on her mobile.

They arrived at the airstrip ahead of schedule, so while they waited for the zeppelin to finish being readied, Rose excused herself for a quick trip to the loo. The Doctor shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels as his gaze followed Rose into the terminal nearby.

"You're doing fine, Doctor."

His attention snapped back to Jackie. She was wearing a knowing smile on her face.

"She's been so quiet since we left Bad Wolf Bay, it feels like she's slipping away again, Jackie."

"Doctor, the last time you two were separated she insisted on waiting five and a half hours by that wall at Torchwood. She was convinced you would come back for her. Pete and Mickey had to drag her away kicking and screaming when it came down to it –"

"Jackie, you have to believe me, I would have-"

"I know, love, I know. But what I mean is that I think part of her wishes she were still back there, waiting. Leaving today must have been as hard, if not harder, than leaving that wall all those years ago. I think the only reason she's even here now is thanks to you. "

"He won't though… come back, I mean. You know that, right?"

"I know, and as much as I hate seeing her go through this again, I certainly hope he doesn't ever change his mind. You're what's best for my daughter now, not him."

The Doctor was taken by surprise. He was still in awe at how accepting of him she was being.

"Oh don't look so surprised! I know you can give Rose what she deserves, half alien and all. I am grateful the other you realized that and put Rose's happiness before his own. I will always be indebted to him for that."

"As will I, Jackie… I just hope I'm enough for her."

"You will be, sweetheart. Just keep on doing whatever it is you've been doing. She just needs some time."

A few minute later Rose was walking back towards them and Jackie decided she better go badger the pilot to see what was taking so long. It would be a seven hour flight, so the sooner they got going the sooner she would be back home with Pete and Tony.

"Where'd mum go?"

"To yell at the pilot, I expect… "

Rose shook her head, a slight grin on her face.

"Poor bloke… Mum hates traveling by zeppelin. She's going to be unbearable until we get back home."

"Your mother, unbearable? I can't imagine what that must be like…"

Rose looked up at the Doctor and found him grinning down at her, eyes twinkling with mischief. She smacked his arm lightly and had to suppress a snicker.

The Doctor started to reach for her hand when Jackie called out to them from the zeppelin boarding dock. It was time to go. Rose's expression closed off as she looked over her shoulder back in the direction they had come from. She gave her head the slightest of shakes, almost imperceptible, and then turned towards the zeppelin and started walking. The Doctor clenched and unclenched his empty hand a few times, took a deep breath and followed.

Once aboard the zeppelin, Rose disappeared. He saw her go down a long corridor and was about to follow when a hand caught him on his forearm.

"Let her be for a little while, Doctor. She'll join us when she's ready. "

Jackie steered him in the opposite direction and began showing him around the airship.

"It's going to be a long trip so I may as well show you around, yeah? That way if missy back there decides to hole herself up for a while you'll know what else there is to do onboard other than just sitting in the main cabin."

The Doctor didn't need a tour, of course. He would much rather do the exploring on his own, but Jackie has been so kind over the past twenty four hours that he supposed it wouldn't be so bad, letting her show him around. Just this once, of course.

Room by room Jackie prattled on about this or that, explaining how Pete had had this world's poshest zeppelin made for her, in the hopes that she wouldn't hate them quite so much. It hadn't worked, of course, but she tried not to complain as much when they traveled… at least not to Pete. Everyone else, well, they were fair game.

"They're just so slow! Back home it would take under two hours to make this trip! It's so odd that this world is advanced in so many things yet so behind in others. Gives me a headache, it does."

"Ah, but where's your sense of adventure, Jackie? Think of all the little differences out there just waiting to be discovered! This is a whole new world, this is! I didn't get to explore much of it last time but now…"

Caught up in his excitement the Doctor left his statement hanging in the air as he walked over to windows of the promenade and looked out in silence. Jackie could see the excitement building on his countenance as he planned who knows what crazy escapade in that alien mind of his.

"Well, I'm gonna go have a lie down. You stay out of trouble, yeah? Don't go breaking anything!"

The Doctor turned around looking scandalized.

"I would _never_. Honestly Jackie, your mistrust wounds me!"

Jackie rolled her eyes and walked off muttering to herself. The Doctor couldn't help but smile at this woman who could be so gruff at times but who was equally as loving and protective of those she cared for as well. His first day of life would have been completely different, and not in a good way, without her acceptance and encouragement. It was no wonder Rose had grown into the amazing woman she was with a mother like Jackie Tyler. Not that he would ever admit that out loud…

As his thoughts turned back to Rose, the Doctor tried not to let his newfound insecurity take hold. Apparently he had inherited this particular character trait from Donna, although not quite as pronounced. He had no doubt he was still absolutely brilliant, half human and all, but when it came to his future with Rose, all that confidence faltered.

Walking back to the main deck, he wondered where Rose had gotten off to. His instinct was to go in search of her but he remembered Jackie's counsel to give her some space. It had worked last night, so he forced himself to be patient and wait for her to come to him. In the meanwhile he needed to keep himself busy, so he wandered over to the library off the main deck and began thumbing through a collection of this new universe's literature.

Three hours later, Rose made her way to the library after not finding him on the main deck or in the galley. When she did locate him, her stomach gave an involuntary flop as she observed him quietly from the doorway. He was lounging on the couch, brainy specs on and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he read. She had come upon him in this very same position countless times, only in a different library. The incongruence of the situation pained her but much like the previous night, she needed to be near him again after spending some time alone.

The Doctor looked up from his book when he felt Rose's presence. Putting it down, he sat up and gave her a hesitant smile.

"Hello."

Rose walked over and plopped down on the couch beside him. She hoped her eyes weren't so red and puffy that he would notice.

"Hey… so what do you think?" she asked gesturing at their surroundings.

"Oh, it's fantastic! Weeeell, it's no TARDIS, but I don't see why your mother hates it so much, other than the speed. Quite comfy really!"

Rose shook her head, "That's just it, she just hates how slow they are. I don't think she minds the accommodations, she just thinks that with how advanced most stuff is on this world, flying should be more efficient."

"Well, I don't disagree with _that_, but life on the slow path must have its benefits, wouldn't you say?"

Rose looked up at the Doctor and saw in his eyes a mixture of amusement and raw honesty. The air of insecurity she felt from him at times was unsettling, although not quite unpleasant. Just… different. Her Doctor never let on to any sort of doubts or worries, but she could clearly see that this one was preoccupied and not too sure of his footing when it came to her. She wasn't sure how she felt about that.

Not quite ready to venture into any serious conversation, Rose pretended to be oblivious to his meaning and redirected her comments towards her mother.

"Not when you're Jackie Tyler and the slow path is what's standing in the way of you and your husband and son!" she said with a laugh. "She must be going bonkers… come to think of it, where is she? I expected her to be talking your ears of or something."

"Oh… well, I'm not entirely sure, actually. After she gave me the grand tour she said she was going to have a lie down. Haven't seen her since."

Rose stood and started walking towards the doorway. "Well, I'm hungry… what do you say we go find her and have some lunch? Unless you ate already? I… I didn't realize how long I'd been… you must've been starving."

The Doctor grinned, "Well… I did go back to the galley for a more, let's say, comprehensive tour. May have gotten into the biscuits too, but I'd love to have lunch with you Rose."

He stood up, straightened his suit and took off his specs, folding them carefully and putting them back into his jacket's inside pocket. When he looked back up he caught Rose giving him an odd look.

"What is it Rose?"

"Oh nothing… I just never realized you had a spare set of glasses is all. I'd never even seen that suit…"

"These? Oh yeah, I've got loads of them… well, had, I suppose. You have to have spares when constantly dashing about saving the universe, you know! Things tend to… break. As for the suit, well…"

Rose watched as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"What, Doctor?"

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he looked down at the floor. "Well, you see… after I lost you… there were so many things… that is, to say… certain objects or places… they reminded me of you, and… it was… too hard. I felt like I needed a bit of a change..."

Rose found herself walking back towards him, stopping only an arm's length away.

"You mean you were trying to… forget me?" She couldn't quite manage to keep the hurt out of her voice.

Eyes snapping up to hers he closed the distance between them and took both her hands in his.

"Oh, Rose… I could _never_ forget you. Never ever."

A sad smile crossed her face and she replied, "You once told me to never say never ever… remember?"

"I do… but Rose, I would _never_ try to forget you. I guess I was just-"

"Trying to distance yourself from the pain?"

"Precisely."

Rose gave his hands a little squeeze and stepped a bit closer, though there was hardly any room between them already.

"I did too, you know… had to change, I mean."

"Yes, I can see that. You're even more brave, and strong, and beautiful. You never cease to amaze me, Rose Tyler."

As he said her name, in that way that always made her insides turn to mush, she knew she was failing miserably at keeping a safe distance from this man. Back in her room aboard the airship, she had spent a few hours trying to figure out how she was going to handle this situation. Knowing what his presence did to her, she had vowed to keep things from escalating between them until she had had enough time to work through all her conflicting thoughts and emotions. They needed to get to know one another. Not as slowly as two strangers would, of course, but definitely with some sort of caution and restraint.

"Doctor, I…"

She let go of his hands and instead rested them on his chest, her right one placed directly over his heart. The Doctor's now empty hands slowly came up around her waist and anchored her gently against him.

Unable to meet his gaze and terrified of what she might do if she did, Rose bowed her head and rested it against his right shoulder. As his arms tightened around her, she turned slightly inward so that her face rested just under his chin.

"I… I missed you."

Emotions, stronger than he had ever felt them, assaulted the Doctor and his eyes clouded over. Pressing a kiss tenderly on her forehead, he managed to whisper, "I missed you too, Rose. So very, very much."

For a long while they just stood there quietly, holding onto one another and allowing their emotions and tears to overflow.


	7. Chapter 7

Some hours had passed since Jackie had left the Doctor on the promenade. Having awoken from her nap, she had tried to reach Pete on her mobile again to check on Tony. After reassurance from Pete that all was well, she had decided to find Rose to have a cup of tea. Jackie hadn't eaten since that morning and thought perhaps they could all have a spot of lunch as well. She searched for Rose in her quarters but found no one. Next she tried the main deck, but no luck there either. Giving up, Jackie doubled back towards the galley resolved to eat alone if need be. Just then she heard muffled voices coming from the library to her right.

"Well, there they are!" she thought to herself grumpily. Under normal circumstances Jackie would have let them be, but hungry and tired of being on that blasted zeppelin; she wasn't the most rational person at the moment.

"You done hiding, sweet-?" she began, walking into the library.

Sometimes Jackie had rotten timing. This was one such occasion.

The Doctor and Rose, arms wrapped around one another, were standing in a corner of the room, heads bowed and… crying?

Awareness of what she was interrupting fell over Jackie like an ice cold bucket of water and she clapped a hand over her mouth, hastily retreating back towards the door. It was too late though, she realized, as the couple jumped apart. The Doctor turned around and pretended to be quite absorbed in the books on a nearby shelf.

Rose glared at her mum, eyes red and face splotchy.

"Sorry, love! I- I was just going to ask if you two had had lunch already… I'll just go then, be in the galley if you need me."

"Yeah, alright…" replied Rose, already turning back to the Doctor.

As Jackie's footsteps retreated, they stood in silence, each waiting for the other to speak first. But then the Doctor turned around and approached Rose again, suddenly feeling brave after such an open and honest display of affection on her part before they had been interrupted.

Cupping her face in his hands like he had done the previous night at the inn, he smiled and rested his forehead against hers once more.

"In know we've both changed, Rose, me more so than you… but you're still my Rose. You're still brilliant…"

He kissed her softly on the forehead.

"… and beautiful…"

He placed another kiss on her nose this time.

"… and _I'm_ still _me_."

This time the Doctor hesitated. He scanned her face for any signs of resistance. Finding none, he closed his eyes and brushed his lips ever so lightly on hers, smiling against them as he felt her face tip slightly upwards to better reach his.

In contrast to the one they had shared on the beach, this kiss was very different. It was hesitant and a tad awkward; both parties still a bit unsure of each other. Laced with equal parts hope and fear, it was short but tender, no more and no less than what either could offer at that particular moment in time.

Rose broke away first though she did not pull away completely, arms still resting lightly on his chest. Looking up into a slightly dazed pair of eyes, she grinned softly and asked, "You're still you?"

The Doctor's hands let go of her face and dropped down to her waist again. He nodded and unknowingly echoed once more the words his other self had said to her back on the TARDIS, after he had siphoned off the rest of his regenerative energy.

"I'm still me."

Rose's heart gave a little flutter, as she felt some of her fear slowly being replaced with anticipation and excitement. She knew this would be a slow process, but right now she felt reassured that they were on the right path. This Doctor, bless him, was being more open than she had ever imagined he could be and seemed to understand her need to take things slowly. Those two things went a long way towards making her feel more at ease around him.

Tongue poking out between her teeth, she smiled a bit wider and replied, "Good." Standing on her toes, she gave him a quick peck on the lips and then grabbed his hand and started pulling him towards the door.

"Come on you, I'm starving! Maybe we can get mum to fry something up for us!"

Out of habit the Doctor groaned but allowed himself to be towed by Rose, a goofy grin plastered across his face. He would have to be brave more often, he decided.

Back in the galley, Jackie was busy making herself and the other two some lunch, just in case they happened to show up… though she doubted they would by the looks of it when she had walked in on them earlier. Pete always kept the zeppelin fully stocked and had even offered to staff it with a cook, but she had refused. Jackie was used to cooking and anyhow, it was a good distraction for her on longer trips.

She had just begun to dredge the fish in flour when Rose walked in with the Doctor in tow… by the hand. Jackie raised an inquisitive eyebrow at the Doctor who just beamed back at her like a nutter. Shaking her head and not really wanting to know what had changed his mood so drastically, she turned to Rose who was surveying the ingredients in front of her.

"Oh mum, are you making fish and chips?!"

"Yeah, I am and now that you two are here how about some help?"

And so the three worked in amicable silence for a while, their grumbling stomachs making up for lack of conversation as they worked feverishly to get the meal done. Jackie watched in amusement as her daughter and this new Doctor stole shy glances at one another.

She smiled to herself as she thought back to the initial awkwardness between her and Pete when they had suddenly found themselves thrown together in this universe. It had been so overwhelming at first and their situation hadn't been anywhere near as complicated as Rose and the Doctor's. As she observed their interactions while cooking and then throughout their lunch together, Jackie could tell that things seemed to be heading in the right direction for these two and hoped it would continue to get easier for them. Knowing her daughter's stubborn streak (much like her own) she knew that Rose hadn't shed the last of her tears today by any means. However, she had no doubt that they were a perfect match, more so now than ever before and that had to count for something.


	8. Chapter 8

** Just a shout out to the amazingly talented **the-untempered-prism**, whose FanArt _**"First Zeppelin Ride"**_ on Deviant Art (Argh, I can't get the direct link to show up but PLEASE go to Deviant Art and search First Zeppelin Ride, you will LOVE it!) inspired the last part of this chapter. I bow to your greatness!**

* * *

After lunch Jackie headed off to watch some telly in hopes that the remainder of the flight would go by quickly. They would be landing in a little under three hours, so if she could just find a good movie that would take care of it.

Meanwhile, the Doctor and Rose went to the promenade, a room in the zeppelin whose walls were mostly comprised of windows. They sat on one of the sofa like benches, looking out at the sea stretched out below them. Their conversation had grown easier over lunch and Rose was now feeling curious about the Doctor's life during their time apart.

"So what happened to you? After Bad Wolf Bay, I mean."

"Well, I met Donna, actually. Literally, seconds after the transmission cut off."

"Wait, what? But I thought she was the last person you traveled with before now. What about that other girl… Martha was it?"

"Oh, yes! Martha Jones! She was brilliant, she was, saved my life! Saved all our lives… blimey, now there's a story."

Rose stayed silent, giving the Doctor some time to gather his thoughts. It seemed as though he had been quite busy in her absence. The thought of him gallivanting around the universe with Martha Jones (she had been rather pretty) made her stomach clench.

Taking her hand in his, the Doctor smiled at Rose.

"I'll start from the beginning, yeah?"

"Go on then."

"Well, like I said… moments after the transmission cut off I met Donna Noble for the first time. She just appeared on the TARDIS! In her wedding dress! She thought I had kidnapped her." He chuckled, remembering how she had slapped him.

Rose arched an eyebrow. "She seems like the kind of person you don't want to cross."

"Ha! You have no idea… ah, but she was brilliant. We defeated the Racnoss Empress together that day. She was going to go down fighting, insulting the big ol' red spider to the very end, that Donna!"

"She saved you too that time, didn't she? Something happened under the Thames and you almost didn't make it out in time, right?"

"How… did she tell you that?"

"No, she didn't have to. I saw it for myself… One of the parallel universes I landed in when I was looking for you… I got there too late, and Donna hadn't been traveling with you. They didn't find you in time. You had died…"

Pulling her closer, the Doctor put his arms around Rose. She snuggled up against his shoulder and took a deep breath, trying not to let that awful memory overwhelm her.

"Oh Rose… I'm so sorry you had to witness that."

"A lot of terrible things would have happened without Donna. I saw them all… So many timelines converging on her in my search for you. I didn't understand why at first, but she was central to, well, everything really. I wish I could have spent more time with her. I bet we'd all have a lark together, yeah?"

The Doctor smiled vaguely. "Yes, we would have."

"Still, I'm glad he has her to keep him company. I can't think of anyone better. H- he'll be alright, won't he? I mean, she was good for you wasn't she?"

The Doctor remained silent, turning his head away from Rose and looking out the window. He didn't want to tell her.

"Doctor?"

Still not facing her, he replied, "Yes, she was good for me. She knew about you… and she understood. Donna grounded me; she brought me back from a very dark place. She was my best mate."

"I'm sorry, I know you're going to miss her very much." Rose gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Yes… we will." He let the phrase hang in the air, waiting for Rose to pick up on it. The Doctor knew he couldn't keep this from her, she needed to know.

"We? Wait, why we? He said they would be travelling together. What, he's not going to drop her off in some parallel universe too, is he?" she asked, half-jokingly, though it wasn't remotely funny.

"No, same universe." Unable to sit still and not sure if he could bear to watch Rose's face, he stood up and started to pace.

Anger started bubbling up within her. Apparently she was not the only one he had left behind today, discarded like an old toy that had lost its novelty and needed replacing.

"Oh, I see… so the TARDIS isn't big enough for two Time Lord brains, yeah? Well of course, now it makes sense, dropping you off here with me then turning around and giving Donna the boot too!"

"Rose."

"Can't stand not being the only genius at the party, can he?"

"Rose, he-"

"Spend YEARS jumping through parallel universes to find him and no, not good enough. Save him from himself and countless other dangers AND the whole of the multiverse too and nah, don't want her either. Of course not, he-"

"ROSE!"

Startled, the rest of her rant fell silent. She looked up at this new Doctor and what she saw made her stomach drop. He stood there, fists clenched and chest heaving. His face was set in that cold, unfeeling mask he had worn so often when they had first started traveling together, though his eyes had been blue then. It had been so long since she'd last seen that expression, and as she sat there not five feet from him, she felt a shiver run down her spine.

The Doctor said nothing, trying to reign himself in. She was justified in her anger, though in this particular accusation she was so very mistaken.

Rose watched as he closed his eyes and took a few breaths. She wasn't quite sure what to do or say, but having never been afraid of this man, not even when he was the Oncoming Storm, she got up and approached him quietly. Taking his clenched hands in hers, she pried them gently open and interlocked her fingers with his.

When he finally opened his eyes, they were shining with tears.

"He _had_ to leave her Rose. She would have died otherwise. He had to make her forget him and then he had to walk away to keep it that way."

Not understanding a word he was saying, she shook her head. "I don't… Doctor, what do you mean she would have died?"

Taking her back to their seat, he sat them down and began to explain the two-way biological metacrisis and how it would affect Donna's mind. She had started showing signs of markedly rapid neuronal breakdown as the TARDIS had flown the Earth back home and knowing himself better than anyone else, he had guessed what it meant would have to happen. There was only one way to save Donna Noble.

"So she had to forget? Everything? All her travels with him, everything she'd done?"

"Everything."

"But what about you? I mean, you're fine!" A thought suddenly hit Rose and her eyes were enormous saucers on her now terrified face. "You _are_ fine, right? You're not going to-"

"No, no, that's not happening to me Rose! I'm perfectly fine, I really am. I promise."

Relief overwhelming her, she buried her face in her hands and wept. She could not lose this man twice in twenty four hours.

The Doctor gathered her up in his arms and quietly explained the differences between a Time Lord consciousness being unable to reside in a human mind as opposed to his mostly Gallifreyan physiology playing host to a few human quirks.

Caught between relief for herself and sorrow for the woman who had been instrumental in not only saving the multiverse but also helping her find him again, Rose hadn't quite yet processed what all this meant for him… the other him.

When she stiffened in his arms, the Doctor knew that it finally had.

Wrenching herself from his embrace, Rose stood up and walked away, unable to look at him.

"He lied to me. He refused to say it and then he lied to me."

The Doctor signed and rubbed his face with a hand.

"Rose… he didn't want you to worry. He wanted us to have the best chance at making this work. Would you have let him go otherwise?"

This was all too much to take in at once.

"I didn't _let_ him go! He gave me no option, this was _not_ my choice!"

Her words stung, but the Doctor knew she was hurting not only for herself but for the other Doctor as well. This time it was he that got up and went to her, wanting to calm her anger and take her pain.

Sitting her down again he wrapped his arms around her once more and rocked her gently.

"He's alone. After all this and he's all alone," she managed to get out between sobs.

Not knowing what to say to comfort her, he tightened his embrace and planted several gentle kisses along the top of her head. As the minutes wore on and her tears failed to subside, the Doctor wondered if he would ever stop causing this amazing woman so much pain.

Eventually, however, Rose wore herself out and fell into a fitful slumber. She had been curled up against him on the bench, but as her body relaxed, she stretched her limbs out and eventually ended up laying half on his lap, half on their shared seat.

The Doctor held her as she slept and eventually he too succumbed to the emotional exhaustion of the day.

As the moon and stars came out and the last of the pink tinged sunset faded away, Rose began to stir. When she opened her eyes she was staring into the lapel of the Doctor's blue suit. His chest rose and fell slowly and when she looked up at his face, she saw that his eyes were closed; head slightly bowed resting on hers. His arms were still around her, one hand resting against her back and the other draped over her waist.

Rose brought her left hand up to his chest and in a gesture that was starting to become as familiar as it was comforting, grounded herself as she focused on the steady beat of his singular heart. This had been a very long day, filled with just as much hope as it had been with additional sorrow. She was so very tired of the constant state of heightened emotions that had been overwhelming her over the past twenty four hours.

Learning of Donna's fate had been crushing but the implications for the Doctor, _her_ Doctor, had completely broken her. If there was one thing that caused her more pain than losing him, it was knowing that he was out there somewhere, all alone. It was beyond cruel that the man who always did so much for so many would have to lose those closest to him in doing so. This Doctor, the one in the blue suit, had explained that while walking away from her had been one of the hardest things he would ever do, he would be comforted in knowing that she had a chance to be happy here. The Doctor and Rose Tyler, as it should be. Rose had found similar comfort in thinking that he had Donna, a perfect best mate, able to put him in his place and complete with a matching Time Lord mind.

But now she knew this was not the case.

A hand ghosting softly up and down her back alerted Rose that the Doctor was awake. Unable to look him in the eye just yet, she snuggled into his chest and whispered, "What's he going to do now?"

The Doctor contemplated her question for a moment. Then he brushed aside some strands of hair away from her face and replied, "The same thing he's always done, keep traveling… When you live for hundreds of years, Rose, heartache becomes impossible to avoid. Why do you think it was so hard for me to stay still? As long as you're running, it makes it easier to keep from looking back."

Not knowing if that had made things better or worse, the Doctor just hugged her tighter.


	9. Chapter 9

As the lights of London began to appear below them, Jackie came bustling into the room. "Alright you two, pilot says we should be landing in a few minutes!" She then started punching numbers on her mobile and left the room just as abruptly.

The remainder of their ride home had been spent mostly in silence, both of them too weary of any further discussion regarding the Time Lord. The Doctor had simply continued holding Rose in his arms as she closed her eyes and pretended to fall asleep again. He knew she wasn't and she had a feeling he was aware of it, but keeping up the charade gave them both some time to retreat into the safety of their own minds for a while.

Upon their arrival, Jackie all but jumped off the zeppelin before it had properly docked. Pete was waiting for them. As the Doctor and Rose descended the stairs, he looked on in amusement as Rose's mother ran to her husband and nearly knocked him over. When she proceeded to snog Pete Tyler however, he had to look away, clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck.

Rose stood quietly, clutching his hand. When Pete managed to extricate himself from Jackie's grasp, he approached them, smiling warmly.

"Rose, sweetheart, I'm so glad you're back! " He hugged his daughter (for that is what she had become over the years) and then turned to face the man beside her.

"Well, I must say, it's good to see you again Doctor."

"Pete Tyler! Good to see you too! And thanks for the ride! That would have been a long walk…weeeell, swim…weeeell, walk _and_ swim!"

Pete chuckled and looked up at his zeppelin. "Right. I'm afraid it must have been terribly boring compared to your TARDIS, but she gets the job done, if a little slowly."

"A little?! I could probably _run_ faster than that thing flies!" interjected Jackie, coming up to where they stood, arms crossed and a scowl on her face. "Well come on then, it's getting late and I want to get home to my little boy! You two can talk about your toys on the ride home, yeah?"

"Of course sweetheart," replied Pete already being hauled off by his wife. He turned back to the Doctor and Rose and rolled his eyes, good naturedly.

The car trip through London was spent listening to Jackie mostly. As she alternated between bombarding Pete with questions about Tony (Did he eat all his dinner? Had he had a bath before going to bed?) and telling him about "those bloody salt shakers," the Doctor and Rose sat silently in the back seat.

Feeling like he was back in the cab on the way to Bergen, the Doctor looked over at Rose, giving her hand a squeeze.

In response she turned away from the window she'd been looking out and scooted a bit closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. Sensing his frustration, Rose looked up and gave him a small smile. "Thank you for worrying about me… I know I'm not the easiest person to put up with right now." She squeezed his hand in return and snuggled into him, hugging his arm.

Relaxing a bit, the Doctor rested his head against hers. "Nonsense, Rose Tyler."

Not too much later, the car pulled into Pete Tyler's estate. Unable to return to the home he had shared with his original Jackie, Pete purchased a new mansion in a different part of London. Jackie had been secretly relieved and so had Rose, as that house had held some unpleasant memories for her as well.

As they were walking in, the Doctor gave a low whistle as he took in his surroundings.

"Pete really has done quite well for himself, hasn't he?"

"Yeah, I suppose. Mum loves living in a mansion, she has taken to this new lifestyle quite well as you can imagine, " replied Rose, a smirk on her face as she glanced over at her mother, already disappearing down a hall towards Tony's room. Pete followed.

"What about you? Do you like it here? This is quite a change from the Powell Estates."

Rose had started walking down a different hallway, tugging him along.

"Yes, it is. I don't actually live here though. I mean, I stayed a while when we first arrived… couple of months. But then I got my own flat closer to Torchwood, it was easier that way."

They were in the kitchen now and Rose put on a kettle. "Would you hand me two mugs? They're in that cupboard, there."

The Doctor handed her the mugs and went off in search of biscuits. Rose glanced over her shoulder and smiled, knowing exactly what he was looking for. "They're in that one, over there Doctor." They had done this countless times on the TARDIS, usually after a particularly dangerous adventure. It helped Rose calm her mind and the Doctor quite enjoyed the routine, as domestic as it was.

A few minutes later they sat down, mugs steaming, and a platter of biscuits half gone already, thanks to him. He watched her blow on her tea for a bit before taking a sip. She closed her eyes, some of the tension in her shoulders seemingly gone already.

"So… Torchwood." He tried to keep his tone light.

Rose was no fool.

With a sigh, she put her mug down and fixed him with a look that warned him he should tread carefully. "Yes, Torchwood. I work there now. I have for a few years, actually. I had just started when we last spoke, on the beach."

"Yes, right… I remember."

"It's different here, you know. Pete is in charge now. "

The Doctor tried to keep his tone neutral. He didn't like the idea of Torchwood, regardless of who ran it, but he didn't want to anger Rose right now.

"So… what do you do?"

"I'm a field agent, mostly. I help Pete with some other things here and there, but I'm most valuable in the field. I've been able to help identify several species of aliens and technology we've come in contact with, so I go on a lot of missions, facilitate diplomacy and all that."

Pride filled him and quite unexpectedly his face broke into one of his mile wide grins. "Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth indeed."

That earned him one of his favorite smiles back, complete with tongue poke and all.

"I went back for my A-levels, you know. Then I decided to study physics at the Uni. Can you imagine? _Me_ back in school! Mum was chuffed!"

"Not surprising in the least, I always said you were brilliant!"

Blushing a bit, Rose couldn't help smiling. She was quite proud of herself. Before meeting the Doctor, she would have been content working at the shop for who knows how long. She'd never have guessed she would have it in her but getting back to him had been a powerful motivator. She had even surprised herself with how she had excelled in her studies.

"Yeah well, it certainly was helpful working at Torchwood. Particularly when it came to building the dimension canon. We had to make quite a few changes to the original dimension jumpers."

"It still ripped the fabric of time, Rose… you could have died. The whole of reality-"

"I know Doctor, I know… but what did you expect me to do? Just sit and watch as the stars went out, knowing what that probably meant for Earth? We _had_ to try. Besides… it meant a chance at finding you. I couldn't just let that go!"

Her eyes silently pleaded with him to drop it. Rose was so exhausted, she just couldn't handle having a row with him right now. She knew eventually they would have to hash this all out, but right now she just wanted to unwind a bit and go to bed.

Sensing this, he swallowed down his retort. The silence that followed became awkward and not trusting himself to not say something he would regret, the Doctor decided he needed to keep his gob otherwise occupied. He shoved a biscuit in his mouth. And then another. And another.

Draining the last of her tea, Rose cleared the table and said, "Well, I'm knackered… time for bed. Come on, let me show you to a guest room. I'm sure we can get some of Pete's jimjams to sleep in until we get you some of your own."

The Doctor got up and followed Rose out of the kitchen, up the grand staircase, and over into one of the side wings of the mansion. There was a door ajar, light spilling out into the hallway they had started down. Rose opened it and stepped inside, revealing a comfortable looking room, bed turned down and a pair of stripped pajamas folded neatly at the foot.

"Looks like mum already got things situated for you, "she said as she walked over to the ensuite, turning on the light. A moment later she came back out. "Right, you've got a toothbrush and some toiletries, towels and such. Tomorrow while we're out shopping we'll stop by the chemist and get you whatever else you need."

"Shopping?" The Doctor looked alarmed.

Rose rolled her eyes. "Yes Doctor, shopping. You can't very well run around in that one suit forever, you need clothes! "

Affronted, the Doctor looked down at his suit and then back at Rose. "What's wrong with what I've got on now?"

"Well, aside from the fact that it will eventually start to stink and fall off of you?"

Taking out his sonic screwdriver (good thing he always kept a spare in this suit!) he flipped it in the air and as he caught it winked at Rose, "No need to worry! Have you forgotten Rose? Setting number eight hundred and three, self-cleaning, works on all fabrics! For shame, I thought you'd remember that since it saved that pink jumper of yours once. Covered in Uxtergalean slime, it was!"

Rose sighed, she had anticipated he might be difficult about this. "Yes Doctor, that's all good and well, but how many times did the TARDIS have to provide you with a new suit when you couldn't clean or repair it with the sonic?"

The Doctor opened his mouth to reply but then shut it. She was right. His other hand reached into his pocket and pulled out the piece of coral. He stood there, head down, silently staring at it as he gently turned it around and around in his palm.

Rose felt awful reminding him of things like that, but he had to be practical. Approaching him, she placed her hand on his forearm.

"Hey, it won't be so bad… I'm sure we can find you some similar suits. Besides, Donna said you'd be able to grow her quickly now, right? So this will only be a temporary thing until she's ready and can replicate your clothes!"

The Doctor looked up at her, uncertainty in his eyes. "It could be a while though, Rose… I'll need the right materials and equipment, a place for her to grow… it will be possible, but by no means easy." He looked out the window and sighed. "It may be some time yet before we're back out amongst the stars… I'm sorry."

Wrapping her arms around his waist, Rose rested her head on his chest and replied, "Its ok, we've got time, Doctor. Besides, I bet you will be able to find some of what you need at Torchwood. We'll make it work."

Tucking both his sonic and the coral back into his pockets, the Doctor returned Rose's embrace. They stood there quietly for a moment before he asked, "Where will you sleep tonight, Rose? I- I mean, where is _your_ room?" He hoped she hadn't misconstrued his meaning. He knew neither of them was quite ready for that… not yet, anyway.

Grinning against his chest, Rose took a moment before replying.

"Right next door, actually. The ensuite connects both our rooms. I'm surprised mum didn't put you in a guest room clear across the mansion in the opposite wing! Guess there's no point, really, I'm sure she knows you'll be coming back with me to my flat."

The Doctor's mouth went dry.

"I- I am?"

She pulled away and looked up at him, uncertain herself now.

"Well… I- I mean, you don't have to. I just figured we'd... Or not, you can stay here if you like." Quickly she turned away and walked over to the window, her arms crossed, face hot. Why had she assumed?

The Doctor came up behind her and she felt his hands come to rest lightly on her waist.

"Rose, I wasn't sure you'd _want_ me there… I didn't mean that I don't want to go," he said softly in her ear.

Unbidden, Rose's stomach fluttered.

She turned around and put her hand over his heart once more. Was it her imagination or was it really beating that fast? She still couldn't quite meet his gaze. "Right... Well, we better get some rest, it's been a long day…"

The Doctor pulled her in for a quick hug and brushed his lips along her temple. "Of course, goodnight Rose."

After retreating to her bedroom Rose sat on her bed, head in her hands. His was not the only heart that was pounding.


	10. Chapter 10

The Doctor didn't think he would get much sleep that night. He wasn't particularly tired after Rose had gone to bed so instead he changed into Pete's pajamas and hung up his suit after giving it a once over with his sonic. Rose had been right earlier, he needed to take good care of it since he didn't know how long it would be before he had a fully functional TARDIS to take care of his wardrobe again.

Sitting down on the bed, he closed his eyes and while holding it in his palm, reached out to the coral with his mind. He felt it's hum again and it relaxed him. The little chunk of TARDIS seemed to be doing just fine, which was a relief to him. Still, he was anxious to get the growth acceleration started which meant he needed to get his hands on several things…

His thoughts turned to what Rose had said about Torchwood. Odds were that he might very well find everything he needed there, but in exchange for what? His run ins with the Torchwood Institute in the other universe had left him with a deep seated mistrust of the organization, and despite what Rose had said, he would not be won over easily by this one.

The Doctor recalled something else Rose had said, specifically about him moving into her flat. He grinned, thinking of how differently he and his other self had reacted to such a comment. When the other Doctor and Rose had been stranded on Krop Tor they had discussed the possibility of this very situation. At the time great big warning bells had gone off in his head when Rose had suggested sharing a mortgage. The prospect had terrified him, both because of the domesticity behind it as well as the idea of sharing close quarters with this beautiful woman he had already grown far too attached to.

Thankfully, _this_ Doctor no longer needed to have those reservations. It was true that Rose was having a hard time with how things had ended up, but that would change… wouldn't it? She had asked for some time, and patience on his part. He could do that. Moreover, living together in a flat shouldn't be too terribly different than in the TARDIS. Well, no that wasn't true… it could be _very _different, but still… this is what he had meant when offering to spend his life with her. Where exactly didn't matter, though preferably not under Jackie Tyler's roof for very long. If things progressed according to human customs, well then that could certainly get to be a bit awkward, having Rose's mum nearby. Not that he was entertaining any such thoughts, of course not. Time Lords were far above that line of thinking! Running his hands through his hair, the Doctor scowled. Blasted human hormones, this was going to be a bit tricky.

Tucking the TARDIS coral safely back into his suit pocket, he decided to go exploring to clear his mind. Sonic in hand, the Doctor tiptoed quietly past Rose's room and down the hallway in the direction of the grand staircase. As Rose and he had gone upstairs earlier that evening, he thought he had spotted a library on the ground floor, just over to one side of the entryway. Surely there would be enough new books in there to keep him occupied for a while… at least until he began to feel a bit drowsy.

"Aha!" he whispered triumphantly as he wandered into what was indeed a library, and a grand one at that. "Well done, Pete, well done!" he thought with a smile. This would do quite nicely. Turning on a small lamp over in a corner, the Doctor began perusing the many shelves of books and finally settled on an atlas of this universe's galaxies. It would be a while before they would be up among the stars again, but he may as well get started on familiarizing himself with the differences he would be encountering.

After studying the atlas from cover to cover the Doctor moved on to history books, curious to learn how events in time were different here on Pete's world. He was just getting settled in with another book when he heard a noise coming from not too far away. It was a crying child.

Setting his book down, the Doctor headed in the general direction of the commotion. Down the hallway, a dim light shone through a door that was slightly ajar. Peering through, he saw a little blonde boy sitting in his bed knees drawn up to his chest, tears streaming down his face. He was clutching a stuffed… TARDIS?

The Doctor opened the door a bit further and poked his head in, not wanting to alarm the child. The little boy rubbed his eyes and peered back at the stranger, surprised enough to momentarily stop his crying.

"Hello there!"

The child rubbed his eyes some more and crinkled up his forehead. "Wh-who are you?"

"I'm the Doctor! Who are _you_?"

"I'm Tony. Tony Tyler."

"Nice to meet you Tony Tyler! I've heard a lot about you! And is that a TARDIS you're holding?"

The little boy looked down at his stuffed TARDIS and then back at the strange man. Tears still on pause, he nodded his head.

"Well now, I had a lot of great toys growing up, but I _never_ had a stuffed TARDIS! You are one lucky little boy! May I see it?"

Again the child just nodded. The Doctor surveyed his face and finding no fear in the little boy's eyes, took it as a good sign and let himself into the room. Sitting cross-legged on the floor beside him, he smiled at Tony who held out one of his most precious belongings to the man in stripped pajamas. Before the Doctor could take it, however, Tony pulled it back and narrowing his brown eyes said, "Are you _really_ the Doctor?"

Grinning, he leaned closer in and whispered, "Do you want me to prove it?"

Tony nodded, sitting up straighter.

Digging into his pocket, the Doctor pulled out his sonic. Tony's eyes went wide and a ghost of a smile began to creep across his still tear-streaked face.

"Is that a sonic screwdriver?!"

"Yep!" the Doctor replied, popping the p.

"Wooow. Can I see it?" asked the awestruck boy, timidly holding out his hand. "I'll let you play with my TARDIS!"

"Fair enough, Tony Tyler! Here you go!" Disabling it before handing it to the little boy, the Doctor made the swap.

As the two looked over each other's traded treasures, shuffling could be heard approaching the room. When the Doctor looked up, there stood Jackie, in a pink fluffy dressing gown. When she took in the sight of her little boy holding the sonic, her eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

"Tony Tyler you give that back!" Rounding on the Doctor she continued, "And you, Doctor, don't you know he could blow himself up or something?!"

"It's fine, Jackie! I disabled it; all it can do is light up and make noise."

"Oh. Well, alright then. But why are you two up? You should be sleeping, young man."

Tony gave a great big sniff and put on his best pout. "But mummy, I had a bad dream. I woke up and was scared but look mummy, it's _the Doctor_! He came to visit me! Is sissy back?"

Jackie's heart melted and she smiled. "Yes sweetheart, Rose is back. But she's sleeping now, and you should be too. There will be plenty of time in the morning to play with the Doctor and Rose, yeah? Now why don't you lie back down and close your eyes."

"But I want a story, mummy. Will you tell me a story? I want to hear about the cats!"

Jackie sighed. The Doctor looked perplexed.

"Sweetheart, you know Rose is the one that's good at telling _those _stories. Why don't I tell you the one about-"

"That's ok mummy, the Doctor can do it! Not as good as sissy, but he was there too so it's ok. Right Doctor?"

"A little help Jackie?"

Hands on her hips, Jackie sighed. "He means the one about those crazy cat nuns. Why Rose thought it was ok to tell a little 4 year old boy about something like that is beyond me but it's his favorite."

"Ah, the Sisters of Plentitude! Right, excellent taste Tony!"

The little boy beamed.

"All right you two, one story and that's it. I'll be back to check on you in a little while." She tucked Tony back in, kissed him goodnight and shuffled out with one last glance over her shoulder. Her son was grinning from ear to ear as he clutched the Doctor's sonic in his little hands and waited for his favorite story from this man he had grown up hearing so much about.

The next morning Rose woke up feeling a bit disoriented. She was back in her old room and it took her a moment for her mind to catch up with the events of the past forty eight hours. This had always been the hardest part of the day for her when she first arrived in this universe. Waking up and remembering that the Doctor was gone, that she was stranded here without him, and that she didn't know when or if she would ever see him again. Mornings had never been particularly kind to Rose Tyler regardless of what universe she was in, but after the events of Canary Warf they had taken on a nightmarish quality.

This morning was almost the same, but not quite. As she recalled Bad Wolf Bay again in conjunction with her immediate surroundings, her body began to respond the way it usually did. Her reaction was Pavlovian. She could feel her muscles tense in preparation for the onslaught of painful memories. But before her usual tears could cloud her vision, a new feeling crept into her consciousness. Excitement. It was true that the Doctor she lost both at Canary Warf and again just two days ago was still gone, but she wasn't alone this time. Her mind hadn't quite yet figured out what to do with the question of who he really was, but it at least recognized his presence and surprisingly enough, that alone calmed her.

With a nervous eagerness she had not felt in years, Rose got up and quickly got ready. She wondered if the Doctor was still asleep and if she should go to his room to check. As she approached his door she paused. Their parting last night had left her a bit shaken; she was not quite sure what she was feeling. Her body was reacting to his presence and his touch much in the same way it had reacted to _her_ Doctor in the past, but her mind was still setting off alarms. Could they really slip back into their old way of life this easily? She had practically commanded him to move in with her without asking! She had no idea what was happening and it terrified her.

Deciding she needed some tea before facing him again (last night had been a tad awkward there at the end) Rose went downstairs, in the hopes that her mum would be in the kitchen. Glancing down at her watch, she realized she had slept in and it was almost time for Tony to go to nursery. Jackie would no doubt be wrangling her little brother into his clothes and out the door. Perhaps she and her mother would have a chance to talk later.

As she approached the kitchen she could hear some chatter, interspersed by great big giggles. When she was just about to walk in, she was greeted by an unexpected sight that made her stop in her tracks just outside the doorway. Tony was sitting at the table fully dressed, his bowl of cereal polished clean. He was looking on in fascination as the Doctor finished carving something… was that an apple? Jackie stood at the counter sipping her tea and smiling, a far cry from the frazzled state she was usually in every morning as she tried to get Tony ready for the day.

"Rose!"

A blur of blonde hair came barreling at her and a second later she found herself almost being knocked over by her little brother.

"Rose, you're back!"

Dropping down to kneel beside him, Rose gave her baby brother a long hug and peppered his face with kisses until the little boy started to wriggle in her arms in an attempt to escape. He normally didn't mind the attention from his sissy, but today he was insistent.

"Look Rose! Look what the Doctor is making me!"

Leading her by the hand, Tony pulled and pulled until they had made it back to the table. The Doctor looked up at Rose flashing her his most winning smile, the one she couldn't ever help but beam back at. In his hands he held an apple, or what was left of it anyway, now that he had carved it into a little blob with two hands and two feet, a toothy grin upon its face.

"What is it?" she asked perplexed. It wasn't anything she had ever encountered in her travels with him or in this universe either.

"It's an Adipose! Aren't they cute?"

"A what? Adipose? As in… fat?"

"Yep!" he replied, popping the p. Oh how she had missed the way he did that.

"The Doctor told me all about them Rose! They're friendly aliens, but they like to eat your fat so you have to be careful. Don't ever take skinny pills or they'll pop out of your tummy!"

Jackie huffed and rolled her eyes, but couldn't hide the amused look on her face.

Rose was so confused. What in the world were they going on about?

"Alright, young man. Time to finish up your breakfast and get going, you can play with the Doctor some more later."

Tony opened his mouth ready to whine by the looks of it, but before he could the Doctor handed him the apple carving and interjected, "Here you go Tony Tyler, an Adipose ready for the taking! Hurry up and eat him before he decides your tummy looks a bit pudgy!"

The little boy's eyes went wide and he quickly took a chunk out of the blob's little head. He giggled again as he made a big production of eating the alien. Rose looked on in amazement. Tony hated most fresh fruits, she was the only one that could get him to eat them and even then it took a lot of bribing. She glanced over at her mother who just shrugged and shook her head, a look of amused exasperation on her face.

The Doctor stood up and went over to the sink to wash his hands. Tony joined him.

"He's quite taken with him. I think you've got competition now, Rose." Jackie had approached her daughter with a cup of tea, handing it over with a wink.

Rose smiled as she observed the Doctor hoisting Tony up onto the counter so that he could help him wash his sticky hands. When they were done, he hopped off the counter and looked up at the Doctor, a shy grin on his face.

"You'll come back, right Doctor? Mummy said we can play this afternoon! And then you can tell me another story?"

"Absolutely!"

Tony threw his arms around the Doctor's legs and then ran off just as suddenly. Jackie smiled and began to walk off after him. Pausing she turned back to them. "Have a good day you two! Be back for dinner, yeah? I'd like to have at least one nice sit down, all of us, before you go and disappear off into your flat and we don't hear from you for weeks… Oh don't look at me like that Rose! I remember how it was with your father when we first got back!" She winked at the pair and scurried off.

Rose's face grew hot and she shot a glare back at her mother but it was too late, she was gone. What was she playing at? Years ago Jackie was constantly throwing hissy fits about them traveling together, lecturing her about how unseemly it was, and not wanting to know what all they "got up to together in that blue box of his." Now Rose got the distinct feeling she wanted to practically shove them into bed together!

Behind her, the Doctor choked on his tea a bit but recovered quickly and shoved a biscuit in his mouth. Rose wanted to die. This was not how she had imagined their morning starting out.

"So… shopping! Where to then, Rose?"

The Doctor's voice sounded strained, a little too keyed up and excited about clothes shopping, of all things. Especially since he was so adamantly against it just last night. Rose was going to kill her mother.


	11. Chapter 11

The car ride to the department store was probably the most awkward length of time Rose and the Doctor had shared up until now. They were like nervous teenagers, stammering and tripping over their own words as they sought out topic after random topic to fill the silence. It was such a relief to them both when they arrived and a gentleman approached them as they began perusing suits.

"Good morning! My name is Geoffrey, may I be of any assistance to you today?"

"Yes, thank you Geoffrey. We're here for some suits and other things. My uh… friend, he just moved here and… lost his luggage, so he'll need to replace his entire wardrobe."

The Doctor glanced over at Rose, panic stricken. Entire wardrobe? Just how much clothes did she think he needed?

Geoffrey looked surprised as well, it wasn't every day a customer came in wanting to purchase that much clothes all at once, but he would not complain. After all, the commission off this sale would be substantial. Putting on a reassuring smile, he approached the man in the hideous blue suit (good thing he'd lost all his clothes if this was a good representation of what he normally wore! He'd have to fix that…) and replied, "Ah yes, of course. Not to worry, we'll get you sorted in no time Mr…?"

"Doctor, just call me Doctor."

Rose grinned; she enjoyed watching people's faces when they first tried to figure out what to call him. She remembered her own confusion when she had met him and had to suppress a giggle.

"Right, yes! Well then… Doctor, follow me if you please."

The next hour was a nightmare. As she had predicted, the Doctor was being just as difficult as she had thought he would be. Every suit Geoffrey brought him had a flaw: too boring, not enough pockets, too hard to run in (Geoffrey looked scandalized at that comment, but quickly recovered), the color was all wrong, etc. Rose wanted to strangle him, this was worse than shopping with her mum!

Finally, they agreed on three after Geoffrey assured the Doctor that they could be custom tailored to fit him like his blue suit. One was brown with white pinstripes, another was charcoal with light blue pinstripes, and the last was a dark olive with grey pinstripes. The Doctor was also opposed to wearing collared shirts and ties with them, preferring matching t-shirts underneath like what he was currently sporting. Despite Geoffrey's best attempts, bringing him an array of colorful shirts and matching ties, the Doctor would not budge.

Rose decided to step in. Taking the light blue shirt and complementary swirly tie from Geoffrey's hands, she approached the Doctor and unbuttoning his charcoal suit coat placed it underneath. The Doctor stood absolutely still, eyes on Rose as she stood back a bit and looked him up and down, slowly, a slight grin on her face.

"You know, you look _really_ great in this Doctor." Slipping the tie around his neck she gave it a gentle tug downwards bringing his face closer to hers. "I've always loved your ties."

The Doctor swallowed and blinked rapidly a few times. Turning to Geoffrey, he cleared his throat and said, "Right. Well then, you heard the lady Geoffrey… we'll take those too!"

Rose winked at Geoffrey and sat back down, tongue poking out between her teeth as she flashed the Doctor his favorite smile. He huffed inwardly. Apparently she could probably get him to wear a clown suit for her if she asked _that_ way.

They then picked out several pairs of coordinating trainers to match his new suits, and Rose insisted they look at some casual clothes as well. After that rather impressive show of her powers of persuasion the Doctor saw little point in trying to object. While Geoffrey took care of putting in the measurements for his suit alterations and gathered up some matching belts to complete his outfits, Rose took the Doctor by the hand and dragged him over to another part of men's clothing.

This was going to be fun for Rose, as she had often wondered what he would look like dressed as a normal bloke. She loved his suits, but had a feeling he would look absolutely stunning in a pair of jeans and a slim fitting jumper or perhaps some t-shirts and casual button downs.

She was right.

The Doctor felt like a doll caught in the middle of a little girl's dress-up game. He didn't complain however, as he came out of the dressing room for the eighth time to those looks Rose kept giving him. He had always considered this particular body to be quite dapper, but that little bit of Donna's insecure personality kept intruding. Being on the receiving end of Rose's coy smiles and compliments certainly stroked his ego. He could do this all day if it meant her looking at him that way. A memory flashed through his mind, the time when Lady Cassandra had taken over his body. "You've been looking…" she had said to Rose with his lips. "… and you _like_ it." Yes, indeed. Rose's expressions confirmed that statement was as true now as it had ever been. Perhaps shopping wasn't as bad as he had made it out to be, he thought to himself with a smirk as he began to change into his blue suit again.

When he emerged from the dressing room, Rose was handing over the outfits they had agreed on to Geoffrey, who took them over to the counter and then returned promptly. "If you'll follow me Doctor, we just need to pick out a few more things and then I believe you will be ready." As he began to follow him, the Doctor realized Rose was not by his side. Turning back he called out to her.

"Rose, aren't you coming to help me pick out whatever else it is Geoffrey is showing me?"

Rose let out a nervous laugh. "Uh… no Doctor, I think you can handle that on your own. I'll just um… well, I need to go pick up something for Tony, actually! I promised mum I'd do that for her since we'd be here. Save her a trip, you know?"

Confused, the Doctor just nodded and turned back to Geoffrey who was surveying them with an amused look on his face. A few more paces and he turned back to face his customer. "So, Doctor, what would you prefer- boxers or briefs?"

A little while later, Rose met back up with the Doctor just as Geoffrey was bagging up the last of his things. It had never occurred to him how all this would be paid for, so when Rose handed over a credit card, he scowled. The total was astronomical.

"Rose… I – you shouldn't have to pay for this. I'm sorry, I didn't think… I mean, I don't normally have to worry about…" The Doctor could feel his face growing incredibly warm. He tried to vasoconstrict his facial vessels but to no avail, his face continued to flush and his scowl deepened.

Smiling up at him, Rose waved it off. "It's fine Doctor, really. Don't worry about it."

Shaking his head, his voice grew more insistent. "No Rose, it's _not_ fine. This is too much. I don't really need _all_ this clothing! I've got my sonic, remember? You really shouldn't-"

Rose grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the counter, as Geoffrey looked up at the sound of the Doctor's rising voice. "Doctor, please. Let me do this, yeah? You gave me free room and board plus that entire wardrobe, plus food, plus all those amazing adventures for how long? This is nothing. I'm the daughter of a multi-millionaire now, remember?" She grinned up at him, tongue poking out between her teeth.

"Yes Rose, but this is diff-"

"No, it's not. Now please, don't make a scene Doctor." Her smile vanished and was replaced by the cautioning frown he knew well. It was the Tyler glare both she and Jackie used so aptly that everyone learned to heed it quite quickly.

Letting out a great big huff of air, the Doctor acquiesced. Rose grinned and reached up on her tip toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. She quickly turned back to Geoffrey who returned her card and handed her the receipts. After thanking him for his help, Rose and the Doctor walked back to the car, each weighed down with several bags in each hand.

Before heading to her flat, Rose suggested they stop by the chemist to pick up toiletries and such. Surprisingly, for a man that hated shopping, he sure did spend a lot of time on his hair products.

"What?" asked a slightly offended Doctor when Rose crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Nothing works on my hair as well as Yeldian balm and we don't have access to that here! I'm sorry Rose, but how else am I supposed to pick a product without trying it first?"

Rose thought they were going to get kicked out when he had started sampling each product on sections of his hair. She finally convinced him to get them all, telling him that he could play with them when they got home.

"Will you help me?" he asked, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Sure Doctor, whatever you want, let's just go." she replied in exasperation. Thirty minutes and several types of gels and mousse later, they had finally resumed their trip.

Ten minutes later, they arrived at the building Rose's flat was in. As they approached the front entrance, a gentleman in a grey suit opened the door and welcomed them. "Good afternoon Ms. Tyler!"

Rose smiled. "Hello Frank, it's lovely to see you again. How is your wife?"

Frank followed them in, opening yet another door that led to the lobby, which had access to a pretty outdoor area over to one side. Taking some of Roses bags, Frank glanced back at the other doorman who took over his post.

"She's much better, thank you Ms. Tyler!" Smiling he looked over at the Doctor and bowed his head slightly, "Good day to you too, sir."

"Oh Frank, this is the Doctor! He will be staying with me so I'll need a key sent up for him, if you will?"

"Yes, of course ma'am. I'll have one ready for you shortly." replied the doorman as they stepped into the lift. The Doctor watched as Frank pushed the button that would take them to the top floor. A few seconds later, they stepped off and after rounding a corner arrived at Rose's door. After opening it, she thanked Frank for his help and took the bags from him. He bid them a farewell and left, promising to return with the key in a little while.

The Doctor followed her in and stopped, looking around. The entryway opened up to a spacious front room with a staircase which led up to a loft over on the right. Directly below the loft, the room was comfortably furnished with a big cushy looking couch, a matching armchair, and a fireplace. There were a few side tables as well, and a bookshelf with various picture frames and knickknacks amongst the books. The wall directly in front of him was glass from top to bottom through which a spacious balcony could be seen, a patio door on one end.

Rose looked over her shoulder at the Doctor and beckoned for him to follow. "I'll give you the tour in just a bit Doctor. Let's just put all your stuff in your room first, ok?" She started walking down a hallway to the left and he followed.

Passing a combined kitchen and dining room on his left, and a few other doors which were closed, they stopped in front of the last one on the right. Rose opened it, flipped on the light and walked in. It was a medium sized room with a bed, a dresser, and a desk in the corner. It looked unused but quite comfortable. Rose put her bags on the bed and turned around.

"This is just a spare room I had done up for whenever Mickey or Jake would spend the night. Sometimes we'd order in and stay up late working on projects for work or they would crash here after a night at the pub… There's a closet here and the loo is through there." Rose shifted on her feet, looking a bit uncertain. "Is… is this going to be ok for you?"

Approaching her and putting his bags down as well, the Doctor looked around and smiled. "Of course, Rose. This is perfect, thank you." It was not his room on the TARDIS, but it would be fine for now. Taking her hand he interlocked his fingers with hers and grinned, "Now, what were you were saying about a tour?"

Rose's uncertainty seemed to vanish and with a smile she nodded, "Right, yes, let me show you around!"

Across the hall was her room, which she merely pointed at, not opening the door. He wondered if it was as messy as it had been aboard the TARDIS... It probably was. Next she showed him the study, the room next to his. It had another desk and a few bookshelves as well. Maps and random open books littered the floor, desk, and practically every flat surface of the room. Rose smiled apologetically, promising to tidy up so he could use it as well.

Approaching the front room again, she took a right and led him into a small kitchen and dining room. Not nearly as small as the kitchenette she had grown up with in the Powell Estates, but certainly not quite as grand as the one at the Tyler residence either. Rose didn't cook much anyway, so she wasn't fussed.

"I guess we'll need to go to the grocer's… I never really kept this place too well stocked. Didn't know if I'd be coming back once I started jumping with the cannon." She wandered over to the fridge and opened it up, pulling out a carton of milk and sniffing it. Screwing up her face and dumping it down the drain, Rose shrugged her shoulders. "Right, well then… we'll just swing by on the way home from mum's after dinner tonight. Is that ok?"

The Doctor nodded mutely. While the flat was nice, he got the impression that she never really viewed it as a permanent home and it saddened him, knowing what that must have felt like… refusing to put down roots because of a hope still kept alive. The hope of finding him again and never having to come back.

Brushing past him without meeting his gaze, Rose continued. "There's one more room to show you. Come on, I think you'll like it!"

Following her back out towards the front room, he saw she was climbing the stairs up to the loft. He climbed up after her and saw a room much like the one downstairs only with a big flat screen TV on one wall, an entertainment center beneath, filled with movies. Another couch sat facing the TV except it was almost the size of a bed and roundish, several cushions splayed out haphazardly along its curved back.

Plopping herself onto it, she patted a space next to her. He sat down, a confused smile on his face. It was a nice room, but it still didn't explain her excitement.

"Look up, Doctor."

Doing so his gaze was met with a white dome shaped ceiling. A sudden noise made him jump and he looked back at Rose, who had leaned back on her elbows against the cushions, half laying down now, and still grinning. Looking back up, he realized the ceiling was opening to reveal the blue sky above, soft wispy clouds lazily floating on by.

"Rose! It's like the base on Krop Tor. How did you find…"

"I didn't. I told mum and Pete about it once and they surprised me one day, a few months after moving in. They asked me to stay at the house for a week, caring for Tony while they went on holiday. When I got back it was done!" her excitement faded as her voice grew soft. "I liked to come up here in the evenings to watch the stars… it- it helped me feel closer to you."

The Doctor closed his eyes for a moment, head still tilted back. He was suddenly overcome with the urge to gather Rose up in his arms and kiss her endlessly. He wouldn't let her go ever again, so she would never have to feel that loneliness… he could still hear it in her voice.

Lowering himself down on the couch, he turned on his side, facing her. She turned her face towards him as well, a soft smile having already replaced the excited grin. Reaching out and gently brushing her cheek with his fingertips, the Doctor stared silently at her, not trusting himself to speak.

"I thought you might like it too… at night I mean, when the stars are out. I know this will be hard for you, not having the TARDIS for a while, being stuck here… living a normal human life day in and day out. You never were one for domestics."

"Yeah well, at least you don't have carpets."

Rose threw her head back and laughed, remembering his objection to doors and carpets when they had discussed sharing a mortgage.

The Doctor smiled. "But you know what Rose?"

"What, Doctor?"

Scooting closer, he propped himself up on his elbow. "Stuck with you, that's not so bad…"

Rose recalled how this conversation had gone oh so long ago, under the dome on that impossible planet. She had been doing the reassuring then. She bit her lower lip as she echoed his words, "Yeah?"

The Doctor leaned forward slowly. Just as his lips were about to brush hers, he smiled and whispered, "Yes."

As with their last kiss, he approached this one cautiously, not wanting to push her. His lips moved slowly, gently over hers, taking their time. His hand came up to cup the side of her face, softly tracing circles on her cheek. She smiled against his lips and then, quite suddenly, he felt one of Rose's hands in his hair, pulling him closer, her lips becoming insistent. Tugging on his bottom lip, Rose's kisses grew more urgent and the Doctor surprised himself as he let out a soft groan. His hand trailed down to her waist and she leaned into it, pushing him onto his back and following his body with hers. Hands roaming, she began unbuttoning his suit jacket.

The sound of the doorbell caused them to hastily pull back, wide eyed and a little out of breathe. Rose jumped up and turned away, hand on her forehead, tears beginning to sting her eyes. What was she doing?!

"Rose?" The Doctor sat up, his single heart pounding.

The doorbell rang again.

"I- the door. It's probably Frank, I better-"her voice shook.

The Doctor's stomach sank.

"No, stay here… I'll get it."

Hurrying down the stairs, the Doctor tried to rearrange his features and calm his breathing. Opening the door, he smiled at the doorman and thanked him for his help, taking the new key from him. He closed the door and set the key down on a shelf then rubbed a hand over his face.

Taking a deep breath, he went back up to the loft. Rose was sitting down, nervously picking at her nails. Approaching slowly, the Doctor sat beside her, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"Rose… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

Face still a bit red, she shook her head and laughed softly.

"Don't apologize Doctor. I just… it's not that… I don't even know what I'm trying to say."

"It's only been two days, Rose, it's fi-."

Standing up, she ran her hands through her hair. "That's just it though, it's been _two_ days and I was about to rip your clothes off while _he's_ still out there somewhere."

The Doctor just stared, not quite knowing what to say to that very candid outburst. But then a slow frustration began to rise within him. It _had_ only been two days, yes, but why did he have the distinct feeling that they could quite possibly still be having this conversation two years from now if he stood idly by? Rose Tyler could be very stubborn, and when it came to him she had proved that time and space did absolutely nothing to diminish her feelings.

"Yes Rose, he's still out there and will continue to be for a long, long time. But _I'm here_, and we've only got this one life together… I know you need time to adjust to this and that's fine, but please, don't take so long that we have nothing left to enjoy."

Standing up, he placed a quick kiss on her temple and then turned away, retreating back downstairs to give her some space.

Rose watched him go, guilt warring with anger, not wanting to admit that he just might be right.


	12. Chapter 12

Turning to yet another bag of clothing, the Doctor sighed. This was so tedious. He wondered if Geoffrey had played a cruel joke on him by sending them home with twice as much clothing as what he had actually picked out. It seemed that the more he put away, the more there was left to hang up, fold, or shove in a drawer somewhere. He hadn't even gotten started on what they'd picked up at the chemist! Plopping down on the bed he pinched the bridge of his nose, willing himself to calm down. It was just stuff, he told himself. Stuff that could be put away later if he didn't feel like doing it all right now. Not the end of the world… so why was he so worked up all of a sudden?

The truth of the matter, however, was that as tiresome as unpacking was, what really had the Doctor in this foul mood was not clothing… it was a certain someone who was probably crying up in the loft and wishing she were somewhere else… _with_ someone else.

He probably shouldn't have kissed her, he berated himself. Now he had just mucked things up! Everything had been going rather decently up until then. She had seemed quite at ease with him most of the day… well, after the initial awkwardness this morning but that was Jackie's fault, not his. They had settled into their normal banter, Rose carrying on much as she always had. There was an additional flirtatious energy that was new for them, true, but welcomed on his part nevertheless.

When she responded so keenly to his kiss up in the loft, he had been surprised but certainly not put out. For those few minutes, it was just him and Rose, finally able to convey what they had wanted to for so long. But then the moment had been broken, an interruption giving the memory of the other Doctor just enough time to insert itself like an unwanted third wheel.

The Doctor got up and wandered to the window, looking out at this new London, its sky punctuated with zeppelins. He wondered how long he would have to be the patient, long-suffering new man in her life. Would his memory always haunt her? Shaking his head, he laughed bitterly. He never thought it would be possible to be jealous of himself, but there was a first time for everything, he supposed… even for one as old as he.

He wasn't sure living here was the best idea at the moment. Perhaps they had been too hasty in coming back to the flat so soon together. As much as he had always scoffed at the inferiority of human hormones, there was much to be said for their power, particularly when one's thoughts and feelings were as complicated as his and Rose's. Neither of them was ready for anything more intimate than what they currently shared, that was obvious. A simple kiss had just proved to be too much. The spaciousness and safety of the Tyler residence was starting to sound more and more appealing. Perhaps Jackie would know what to do… The Doctor chuckled softly as he contemplated going to Rose's mum for advice. What was his life coming to?

Just then a soft knock intruded on his thoughts. The door creaked open and Rose's head peeked through.

"May I come in?" her voice was timid, unsure.

Continuing to look out the window, the Doctor replied, "Of course, Rose."

Surveying the chaos of empty bags, clothes half hung up and drawers opened haphazardly, Rose let herself in and began to help. "So… unpacking is bit of a pain, isn't it?"

"Yes, I suppose…never had to worry about this before."

Rose paused, hanger in one hand, shirt in another. His voice sounded… off. Was he cross with her? His comment as he had left her upstairs earlier was certainly a bit of a reproach, but it had not been said unkindly. She could tell he had been upset but she thought it was on her behalf more than anything else.

Her knee jerk reaction to his less than warm reception was anger, but she stopped herself before saying something she would regret. Reminding herself of how gentle and cautious he had been with her for the past two days, she acknowledged that it must not have been easy… particularly with everything else he had to deal with. She needed to be more conscious of the fact that she wasn't the only one having a hard time with their current situation.

Putting down the shirt and hanger she cleared a spot on his bed and sat down.

"Doctor… I'm sorry."

He said nothing, didn't even bother to look at her.

Rose tried to stay calm. She knew she was being difficult, yes, but he couldn't possibly be _that_ angry with her… it had been TWO days! What did he expect her to do, pretend he didn't exist? Yes, she knew they were the same, and yes she wanted to make things work, but just because he was there with her didn't mean the other Doctor had just ceased to exist. Of course she had to come to grips with that but after loving the man for the past six years of her life, how could anyone expect her to just get over it in two days?

Choosing her words carefully, she tried again.

"Doctor, please talk to me… You're angry, I get it, but-"

He spun around suddenly, his expression icy. "Angry? I'm not-"he started to say, a bit more forcefully than he had intended. Lowering his voice some, he tried again. "I'm not _angry_, Rose."

Already on the defensive, Rose Tyler began to lose what little control she had managed to summon since entering the room.

"Really, oh well, you could have fooled me, Doctor…" she trailed off, not bothering to hide the sarcasm in her voice.

Shaking his head, the Doctor turned his back on her again, resolute on staring out the window instead. "Rose, I'm _not_ _angry_… I'm just… this is frustrating," he finished quietly.

Losing all rational thought, Rose threw her hands up in the air. "_What's_ frustrating Doctor? The fact that I'm not ready to jump in bed with you? Is that it? Because can I just remind you, we've been here _two_-"

The Doctor turned back around now, eyes wide, his expression completed defeated.

"Rose Tyler, do you honestly think so little of me?"

Before she had a chance to process what had just slipped out of her mouth, the Doctor started to walk past her, headed for the door.

Rose panicked.

"Wait! Wait, I'm sorry!" she caught him by the arm just before he was out of reach. He stopped but did not turn to face her.

Standing up, she quickly placed herself in his path, trying to catch his gaze. Face turning red, she shook her head wildly, bringing a hand up to her forehead. "I didn't mean that, Doctor! Of course I don't think that of you… I'm sorry, I- that was… absurd."

Sighing, he rubbed the back of his neck. "Rose… maybe I should just stay with your parents for a while, yeah? This is clearly making you uncomfortable. I don't want you to ever feel like you… owe me anything, just because I'm here now."

Rose's face blanched. She couldn't believe the turn this conversation had taken. How could she have accused him of such a thing? She wished the ground would just open up and swallow her whole.

"You _don't_ though… what happened upstairs, I didn't… Doctor, I know you weren't trying to…" She took a deep breath and let out a shaky laugh. "This _is_ frustrating, isn't it?" She gave him a small smile, hoping he would at least give her a chance to explain herself.

The Doctor's expression softened a bit. He could see how hard this was for her, and how terrified she was of him walking out that door. He hadn't actually intended on not coming back, but given what had just happened two days ago, he understood why she thought he wouldn't.

Rose reached for his hand. "Stay?" she managed to get out just barely above a whisper.

Squeezing her hand gently, he nodded and turned to sit back down on his bed. He pulled her down beside him where they sat in silence for a few moments, both staring down at their laps not quite knowing how to proceed.

The Doctor spoke first, wanting to clear something up. "Rose, what I said to you upstairs… I think you may have misunderstood me."

Thankfully, she didn't try to contradict him. He continued.

"I _know_ this is hard for you. I understand that it must be incredibly difficult to make sense of the fact that I'm here but he's still out there somewhere. We're the same, yes, but physically there are still two of us, so I know that's difficult for you."

Rose bowed her head, her silence confirming that what he was saying was true.

"But when I asked you to not take too long, I didn't mean I expect you to be alright with everything _right now_. I just… I guess what I meant to say was that I'm afraid of years going by with us still tiptoeing around one another because _he_ is still out there."

Rose looked up then, relief plainly visible on her face.

"I don't want that either, Doctor… I just- I'm not quite sure how to _do_ this."

He smiled then. "That makes two of us, Rose Tyler."

"Well… I guess we'll just have to make it up as we go along then, yeah? We've always been good at that, you and I." replied Rose, as she playfully bumped him with her shoulder, a grin making its way across her face.

The Doctor laughed. Suddenly, his stomach growled quite loudly which in turn made Rose laugh.

"How about we order in some take-out and I help you finish putting all this stuff away? Then we can figure out which one of all those hair products will work best for you, sound like a plan?"

He nodded enthusiastically, starting to search for his bag of hair gels.

"_After_ we get all this clothes sorted, Doctor! Come on, get to it mister, I'm going to place the takeout order and I'll be right back, yeah?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes and then doing his best creepy little child impression asked," Are you my mummy?"

Stopping at the door, Rose whipped around and tossed a package at him that had been lying on top of the dresser, unopened. As his laughter followed her down the hallway, Rose smiled to herself. Boxers, she knew it.


	13. Chapter 13

"Well, I certainly hope there is a Yeldian merchant out there somewhere Rose, or my hair may never be the same again!" complained the Doctor after forty five minutes. He had washed his hair five times, trying every single gel and mousse only to be met with mediocre results. Wet towel draped across his shoulders, he leaned against the ensuite's entryway looking utterly defeated.

Sitting on the edge of the counter, Rose sighed dramatically. "Me too… I'm just not sure I can do this if your hair isn't _absolutely_ perfect." She put on her most serious face.

After a momentary panic, the Doctor noticed the corner of Rose's mouth twitch. Throwing the towel at her, he laughed. "Rose Tyler, don't get cheeky with me!"

Tongue peeking through, Rose grinned. She hopped off the counter and hung up the towel. Turning back to him, she picked up one of the many gels he had tried and said, "It looks _fine_ Doctor, really. But if it helps, I think this one works the best."

Taking the tub from her hands, he opened it up, scooped out a small amount and went to work again, trying his hardest to achieve that signature messy look she so loved. Rose wondered if he had always been this high maintenance before or if this was some of Donna peeking through. Not that she ever witnessed his dressing or grooming habits aboard the TARDIS, he just always looked perfect and was ready to go when she would stumble out of bed each day.

"I'm going to ring mum and let her know we'll be on our way shortly. "

The Doctor nodded absentmindedly as he continued to struggle with his messy mop. Rose rolled her eyes and left him muttering to himself.

A short while later, as they were driving to the Tyler residence, she decided to tackle a conversation she knew they had to have but wasn't quite sure how he would react to.

"Just so you know, Doctor, Pete might want to sit down with you tonight to get some documents taken care of… You need to decide on a name and a few other things."

Looking confused and a little bit affronted, he turned to Rose and replied, "A name? But I've got one, Rose. It's worked just fine for me for over nine hundred years, why do I need a new one now?"

"You'll be in the public eye, Doctor. 'Rose Tyler's mysterious new beau' and all that. It was a mess when mum and I got here, the press had a heyday! It was easier to come up with a story for mum's reappearance, but as there had never been a Rose Tyler in this universe, I was a little trickier to sort out. I'm still the target of the rumor mill from time to time, so by extension you will be too."

Mulling this over for a moment, the Doctor then shrugged. "Alright then, guess I wouldn't mind going by John Smith again."

Rose groaned. "Doctor, that sounds much too like an alias. You'll need something a bit more credible."

"But it _is_ an alias, Rose! You're not actually going to start _calling_ me something else, are you? " He looked outraged… then unsure… then a bit hurt.

Rose laughed. "No, I'm not! You'll still be the Doctor. To me and everyone else that knows you, I'm sure. This is just for the press… and Torchwood, should you decide to join us. Well, they know who you are of course, but to keep things official and all…"

An uncomfortable silence hung between them. He was not yet ready to make any promises on that subject.

"Noble then. John Noble. Is that convincing enough for you?"

Rose smiled and decided to let the Torchwood thing go for now. They had had enough awkwardness today. "It's perfect. Now, how about a birth date? Nine hundred years old won't cut it, I'm afraid!"

Things were getting tedious again. He sighed. "You pick, Rose. How old do I look then?"

"Hmmm… mid-thirties?"

The Doctor shrugged. "Fine by me… you think the press will mind the age gap?"

Rose snorted. "You mean as opposed to eight hundred some odd years? Uh no, I think it'll be fine."

By the time they pulled up to the Tyler Estate, the Doctor was quite grumpy. They had picked his place of birth, parent's background, childhood education, and the circumstances that had brought him to London ultimately leading up to how they had met.

"Blimey Rose, can't I just flash everyone my psychic paper and be done with it?"

"In person sure Doctor, but the tabloids and reporters will go digging for dirt on you anywhere they can… your psychic paper won't be of any use there, you know that. Pete will have our lawyers at Torchwood draft up the necessary paper trail to keep everyone happy and that will be that. I'm sorry, but this really is necessary."

Rolling his eyes, he slammed the car door shut as he got out. Rose decided she needed to get Pete alone as soon as possible and warn him that Torchwood talks would probably not go well tonight. She had a feeling that living this often scripted public life was going to be a challenge for him. He was used to spontaneity and not having to worry about what people might think of him. The safety of his big blue getaway vehicle had always made that possible, nobody's rules to follow except his own. Living in the public eye as well as dealing with the rigidity of Torchwood was going to seriously test his resolve when it came to living this domestic life with her. Some things could not be helped, but the least she could do was hold Pete off for a while.

Slipping her hand into one of his, Rose gave it a squeeze as they approached the house. Before they could even open the door, they heard muffled running and squeals of delight.

"Mummy they're here! They're here!"

The door flew open and a little blonde torpedo came shooting out, attaching itself to Rose's legs. The Doctor's frown was wiped clean off his face as a little hand attached itself to where theirs were linked and began tugging.

"Come ON! Let's go to my room, I have something to show you!"

"Tony sweetheart, in a little bit yeah? I have to go talk to mum and dad. Why don't you show the Doctor, though, I'm sure he'll-"

But what Rose was about to promise on his behalf was forgotten as the Doctor grinned at the little boy and in an excited whisper said, "Race you?"

As they took off down the hall Jackie came around the corner. "Oi! No running in the house young man! You too, Doctor!"

Rose closed the door behind her, smiling at her little brother and his new best friend as they disappeared.

"Would you look at the pair of them, thick as thieves, they are! How are you love? Get all your shopping done?"

"Almost, still need to stop by the grocers on the way home. We got the worst out of the way though." Shaking her head, Rose laughed. "Honestly mum, he was a right nightmare in the shops! I thought I was going to kill him!"

Jackie just raised an eyebrow as she walked back towards the kitchen.

"You traveled with the man for how long and you're still surprised at how much of a nutter he can be? Of course he was a nightmare Rose, I don't think he has a cooperative bone in his body!"

"Oh mum, he's not all bad… just a bit higher maintenance than I remember. I think it might have something to do with him having inherited some of Donna's quirks. Or not… I'm not entirely sure, actually. We never had to do these kinds of things before."

Turning her back on Rose to reach into the fridge, Jackie smiled to herself. All she had to do was begin insulting the man for her daughter to step up. Some things never changed.

"Well, I remember how strange it was at first with Pete here. Still, you'll get used to one another again, I'm sure of it."

Rose sat on a stool by the counter. "Yeah, I'm sure we will… it's just a bit strange is all."

Jackie turned back around to face her daughter and watched her carefully. She didn't wish to pry but well, being Jackie, she did anyway.

"So… you two getting settled in alright? Sharing a flat going to work out and all?"

Rose rolled her eyes at her mother's expression. It was obvious what Jackie was hinting at.

"What? Oh Rose, honestly, after all this time it's only natural sweetheart! Your father and I-"

"MUM! Seriously, don't. How many times do I have to tell you though? The Doctor and I, we were never… like that. And now, things are… awkward. "

"Yeah, and? Rose, I'm tellin' ya, what you two need is a good sh-"

"Mum, I _can't_! He kissed me today and I… I just kind of went berserk on him! "

Jackie sighed.

"Why sweetheart? Why can't you allow things to just… happen? Let yourself to be happy with this man? It's what you've wanted for _years_, Rose!"

"If dad hadn't died… if you had just gotten stuck here and met Pete while dad was still out there somewhere, could _you_?"

Jackie reached out and took hold of her daughter's hand. "I see what you mean, love, and I can understand how hard that must be for you… but Rose, not allowing yourself to be happy with this Doctor will do _nothing_ for the other one. On the contrary, what he sacrificed will have just gone in vain. Do you think he would want that for the two of you?"

Rose didn't answer.

Jackie pulled her in for a hug.

"Take your time, if that's what you need sweetheart. I remember Pete having similar reservations. The awkwardness will pass, you'll see."

"Thanks mum… I know it will, it's just frustrating… for both of us. He's been so patient with me but today has been a bit challenging for him as well. I think he's going to have a hard time doing this whole human thing… I need to speak with Pete, tell him to lay off the Torchwood talk for now. I just know he's going to ask."

"Well, you better go find him then. He mentioned something earlier about asking him over dinner."

Rose groaned. She had a feeling this hadn't been solely for the purpose of a warm family gathering. Giving her mum one more hug, she set off.

Pete Tyler was reading a report when Rose walked into the study. Looking up, he observed the tension in her shoulders as she sat down across the desk from him.

"Welcome back, love. Everything alright? You look… tired, Rose."

"It's been a long day, Pete. But yeah, everything's fine… just getting the Doctor settled in. How's work?"

Shuffling his papers in order and putting them back in his briefcase, Pete shrugged. "Oh you know, fires to put out as always. The board wants you to come in right away for a full debriefing but I persuaded them to give you a few days to recover. I figured you would want some time?"

"Yeah, that would be lovely, thanks. I'm not really too keen to get back there just yet…"

"That's what I thought. Take a few days, you've certainly earned it Rose. Then you can bring the Doctor by, I'm sure he will be able to answer a lot of our questions too."

"About that, Pete… The Doctor doesn't trust Torchwood. They were different back home, did some awful things. I've told him it's not how we function here, but I think it will take him a while to let his guard down a bit."

Pete drummed his fingers on his desk. "I see… well then, perhaps I ought not to bring it up tonight? I was going to extend him an offer to join us, he would be an extremely valuable asset Rose."

"I know… and I think he might actually enjoy it there, but trust me, he needs to come to this decision on his own. I'm sure I can get him to come along with me in a few days, give him a tour and all that. Perhaps once he sees how different this Torchwood is and meets everyone he'll feel up to it, yeah? But for now, I'd appreciate it if you would just leave it alone."

Pete sighed. "Of course sweetheart, whatever you think is best. You know him better than anyone else. But he will need an identity, Torchwood or not. We can't help that."

Rose grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen and began writing. "Already took care of it, we discussed it on our drive here. He wasn't too keen but he understands why it's necessary." She handed over all the information they had agreed upon.

Looking it over, Pete nodded. "Right, everything looks good. I'll have all the documents ready for him in a day or two. Has he given thought to what else he might want to do if he doesn't work for Torchwood? We may need to get him more extensive credentials if that's the case."

"No, we hadn't really gotten that far. Things are a bit… complicated still." She looked away.

"Rose, I know you probably don't want to talk about this stuff with me… I'm sure your mum is much better at it anyway, but just so you know love, I'm here if you do. Jackie explained as best she could about what happened with the other Doctor, and I'm sorry… I'm so glad you're back with us Rose, but I _am_ sorry that you're in this situation. I remember how hard it was when I lost my Jackie. I'm happier now than I ever imagined possible, but it was still hard."

Rose looked back at this man that had become her father and smiled. He, of all people, was probably the best equipped to understand what she was going through.

"Thanks Pete… I'm alright, I just… I think it's going to take me a while, you know?"

"Yes, I know, love. Truly, I do."

"Can I ask you something, though?"

"Anything, Rose."

"How did you…when mum and I got here, did you ever feel like you were being, I don't know… unfaithful to her memory? Your Jackie's?"

Pete smiled sadly. "I did, yes… at first. Lots of people remarry after losing a spouse, that wasn't the problem though. I imagine it's quite normal to feel like you are figuratively replacing one love with another. It's an entirely different and much harder thing, in my opinion, to feel like you are _literally_ doing so… When this new person has the same face and voice, it's a lot trickier to sort it out in your head."

Rose's eyes began to sting. He did know, then. He knew precisely how she felt.

"So… how did you get past it? How were you able to move forward with mum?"

"Well, it was mostly just a matter of giving myself permission to do so. Jackie-my Jackie, and I didn't get on very well there at the end… but I know she would have wanted me to be happy. And your mum did that for me. It was awkward, and I'm sure you remember how much we fought at first, just trying to make sense of it all… but Rose, it finally just dawned on me one day."

"What did?"

Reaching across the desk, Pete squeezed Rose's hand. "That while our memories control our past, they don't necessarily have power over our future… unless of course we let them. I had to make that conscious decision, Rose… and you probably will too."


	14. Chapter 14

Dinner was a mostly pleasant affair that night at the Tyler Estate. Rose watched the Doctor carefully as Pete asked him questions regarding the metacrisis process and his part in what had happened aboard the Dalek Crucible. She could feel waves of tension rolling off of him, particularly when the conversation turned in the slightest to his possible future plans, though nothing concrete was discussed. While Pete was strategically feeling him out, he stayed true to his word and did not bring up Torchwood for which Rose was very grateful.

Tony proved to be a great buffer. He constantly vied for the Doctor's undivided attention, completely unaware of the conversation the adults were trying to maintain around him. When it was clear that the child was not going to finish his dinner, not even his desert, Jackie crossed her arms and fixed her son with a stern gaze.

"Alright, young man, I think it's time for bed. Let's get you washed up and tucked in."

Tony's face crumpled for a moment but then he turned to his big sister. "It's your turn tonight, Rose! The Doctor told me a story last night, right Doctor?"

"Right you are, Tony Tyler!"

The little boy grinned up at her, expectantly.

Reaching over to tickle him, Rose grinned back. "Alright you, say good night, come on."

Tony jumped out of his seat and ran to give his mum and dad hugs and kisses. He then turned to the Doctor and climbed up into his lap. "You can come over anytime, Doctor! I'll let you play with my TARDIS ok?" He then hugged him around the neck and jumped off, running after his big sister.

Jackie smiled and winked at him. "I think you've got a bit of a fan. I don't know what it is about my children, absolutely besotted with you, both of them!"

The Doctor felt his face grow hot again. That was really going to get annoying, this lack of control over the most primitive of cardiovascular responses.

Pete's mobile rang. Giving his wife an apologetic smile, he excused himself from the table. Jackie rolled her eyes and got up, beginning to clear the dishes. Glancing at the Doctor, who was still sitting there looking a bit lost, she paused and said, "Oi, Doctor. I was never your maid before and I'm certainly not going to start now! Help me clear this table, will ya?"

Jumping up from his chair the Doctor nodded. "Right! Yes, of course… sorry Jackie."

Once everything was back in the kitchen, she turned on the sink and started washing, handing each piece to the Doctor to dry.

"So, how's she treating you love?"

Caught off guard, he looked up from his task. "Pardon?"

"Rose. How's she treating you?"

Wondering if this was some sort of trick question the Doctor shrugged nonchalantly. "Fine, Jackie… why do you ask?"

Rolling her eyes, she stopped what she was doing and fixed the Doctor with one of her looks.

"Don't lie to me Doctor, I know she's being a right pain. She told me so herself just a little while ago!"

Raising an eyebrow the Doctor replied, "She did?"

"Yeah, she did. Something about her acting like a nutter today after… something happened?"

The Doctor froze.

Jackie waited for him to say something, hands on her hips now.

"I swear Jackie, it was just a kiss. I didn't… I mean, it's not like we… I _never_ would have-"

Jackie's laughter cut him off. The look on his face was priceless.

"I know love, I know! I'm just teasing, you plum."

Face hot again, he looked back down at the platter he was drying wishing he were anywhere but there at the moment.

Sensing his discomfort Jackie quieted down. "My Rose can be quite stubborn… and not always very rational as I'm sure you've noticed?"

Still not wanting to meet her gaze, he just gave a small nod instead.

"But behind all that bravado, she's just scared, you know. Scared things won't be the same or that they won't work out. And when she's scared she pushes people away, she always has."

Looking up, the Doctor nodded as Jackie's words brought a memory to the forefront of his thoughts.

"She did that once before… when I regenerated and wound up looking like this. I don't remember what happened while I was unconscious, but just before… well, she did exactly that."

Jackie recalled that day and how distraught Rose had been, so lost without her big eared, blue eyed Doctor. She was glad he had made the connection, it's precisely what she was going for.

"Yes, I remember. She was very upset, convinced you weren't really you. Didn't last long though, did it?"

Smiling, he shook his head. "No, it didn't."

"I know this is a little more complicated than just changing faces, Doctor, but I have faith in my daughter. It might take a little bit longer this time, but she'll get there you'll see. Just don't let her push you away, sweetheart. I know you're trying to be patient with her but Doctor, sometimes what she needs is someone to push right back, you hear?"

Gratitude for this woman welled up in him and he grinned at her. "Thank you, Jackie."

"Anytime love. Now why don't you go see what my children are up to? Tony's got Rose wrapped around his little pinky, there's no telling how many stories he probably roped her into telling and he needs to go to sleep!"

Putting down his towel he gave her one last smile and set off to find his Rose. Once again Jackie had proven to be an unexpected ally and he couldn't help but chuckle to himself as he realized just how fond of her he was becoming. It was embarrassing, his other self would definitely not approve.

When he got to Tony's room he hung back just outside the door, curious as to what story Rose might be telling him this evening. He had to admit, he was pretty chuffed about the fact that this little boy, who had never met him before yesterday, seemed to know so much about him and had welcomed him so eagerly into his life. It both warmed and broke his heart to know that this was yet another testament of how much Rose had loved him.

"And then the nanogenes shot out of his hands, right Rose? He shot them at the other gas-mask people!"

"Yes, Tony, he did. And then he said-"

"Everybody lives, Rose. Just this once, everybody LIVES!" shouted the little boy.

The Doctor laughed and stepped through the doorway. Tony was jumping up and down on his bed, pretending to shoot nanogenes out of his hands.

When he saw the Doctor, Tony beamed. "Look at me, Doctor! I can do it too!"

Rose looked over her shoulder and smiled up at him from the bed.

"Guess I'm not the only one with the moves now, eh Rose?"

She bit her lower lip and smiled. He winked at her, leaning casually against the doorway. She smiled wider. Unaware of anything other than the invisible gas-masked people all around him, Tony kept jumping around on his bed, shooting more nanogenes out at random.

Hating to put an end to all their fun, but not wanting to let Jackie down after all her kindness, the Doctor walked over to sit beside Rose and in a low voice said, "You mother sent me in here to make sure you were wrapping up the story. Said Tony needs to go to sleep now."

Looking back up at her brother, still playing with his imaginary nanogenes, Rose sighed. She had missed him so much and would have stayed up all night with him if she could. Grabbing him around the waist she pulled him into her lap and started kissing him mercilessly. The little boy squirmed and wriggled, but then quieted down and threw his arms around his big sister.

"Alright Tony, time for bed, yeah?"

"But Roooooose… "

The Doctor smiled as he watched her resolution waiver. Jackie was right, stubborn Rose Tyler was nothing but a pushover when it came to the cunning little four year old that sat before them. Lacing his fingers through hers, he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Tony Tyler, none of that now. It's late and little boys need their rest or they might just wake up with a gas-mask stuck to their face!"

A tiny gasp escaped from his lips but then he turned to the Doctor and narrowed his eyes. "You would save me though, right Doctor? Just like before?"

"Well, yeah of course Tony, if I could… except, I'm afraid I'm all out of nanogenes. You better do what Rose says, at least until I can get my hands on some alright?" He winked conspiratorially at the boy who tried to wink back.

"Alright love, here's your TARDIS. You all set?"

Settling in, Tony hugged his stuffed blue box and nodded.

Kissing him on the forehead, Rose said goodnight and turned off his light.

As they turned, about to leave, Tony's voice called out once more.

"Doctor?"

The little boy's arms were outstretched, waiting.

Smiling, the Doctor sat back down on the bed and leaned over, giving Tony a hug. As he began to pull away to let the boy lay back again, Tony hugged him tighter.

"Thanks for coming back Doctor. Sissy was so sad when you were gone. Now she can be happy again!"

Behind him, the Doctor heard a soft intake of breath.

Ruffling his hair, he tucked him back in and stood up. When he turned back to Rose, she was looking at him, eyes bright, an unreadable expression upon her face. He approached her and a small smile began to bloom. She extended her hand out to him.

As they walked back towards the kitchen, the Doctor turned to Rose and chuckled. "He is an amazing little boy. He's going to grow up to be quite the handful, just like his sister!"

"You've been talking to mum, haven't you?"

The Doctor blanched but tried to keep his face neutral.

Not noticing, Rose continued. "She says that about him all the time. Tells Pete it's like raising me all over again, only as a boy."

Relieved that this was all she had meant, he relaxed and smiled back.

"I bet you were cuter though, Rose."

She bumped him playfully with her shoulder and laughed.

Arriving at the kitchen, they found Jackie finishing up a cup of tea.

"Thanks for dinner again mum, it was lovely!"

"You're welcome sweetheart! Are you two headed back home? You're welcome to stay if you like. Pete's doing some work but I'm going to be up for a while yet if you want to watch some telly."

"Thanks mum, but we still need to go by the grocers. "

The Doctor groaned.

"Oh hush you, we'll get you some bananas, deal?"

Perking up considerably, the Doctor nodded and began to swing their hands back and forth. Jackie looked on in amusement.

On their way to the grocers, the Doctor asked Rose something that had been preoccupying his mind since the previous night.

"Rose… where exactly does one get a stuffed TARDIS from?!"

Rose laughed.

"Well, it wasn't very difficult really, had it custom made for him. I just drew a couple of sketches and gave a pretty detailed description and that was it."

"That's brilliant!"

"Yeah, well I thought he might like it. I can only imagine what he'll do when he sees the real thing!"

"Have you told him?"

"Oh no, we'd never hear the end of it if I had. He'd probably ask about it every five minutes and then mum would kill us… besides, on the off chance that… well, I mean, if it takes longer or something, I didn't want… I guess I just thought it would be best if I didn't, is all."

"No, that makes sense… we wouldn't want to get his hopes up... just in case… of course."

Sensing the Doctor's distress, Rose silently berated herself.

"I'm sure everything will work out just fine, Doctor. She'll be up and running in no time and then we can surprise him, yeah? Mind you, mum won't let us take him anywhere, but we can at least let him run around on the inside. He's always wanted to see the pool, that would probably be enough for him for a little while!"

Grinning, he looked at Rose and said, "Oh I don't know, there are quite a few child-friendly planets out there! For instance, Hedgewick's World of Wonders is a great big theme park on-"

"No, not without mum's permission. She would never forgive us… I would probably lose big sister privileges over that one!"

The Doctor sighed dramatically. "Oh alright… party pooper."

Rose looked over at him and smiled to herself as she took in his slumped form, arms crossed, looking rather put out by the thought of not being able to take Tony along for a "safe" adventure. She loved that he was so good with him, barely a day after meeting. She remembered him telling her a long time ago that he had been a father once. The thought had been so shocking then, but as she had watched their interactions today she realized how naturally it came for him, and she loved it. She wondered if one day… well, perhaps it was best if she didn't think about that just yet.

It had been a long day and whether by luck or unspoken agreement, the trip to the grocers was kept simple. Rose thought he might be difficult again, but surprisingly he was not. Well, for the most part anyway. She did have to scold him for starting to eat the bananas before they had reached the register.

"But Rose, how are we supposed to know if they're good or not? First the hair gel and now this? Blimey, you humans are far too trusting."

Rose just rolled her eyes and took the banana away.

The Doctor pouted.

Rose had to bite her lip to keep from smiling.

Once they got back to the flat, the Doctor helped her put everything away and then leaned against the counter, looking at her expectantly. He wasn't quite sure what he should do next.

"Are you tired?"

"No… not really," he confessed.

"Did you sleep at all last night?"

"A little. Three hours and twenty four minutes."

"Well, that's something at least. Do you think that's all your body will need from now on?"

"It's hard to say… I imagine it may change with regards to my exertion levels, but yes, overall I don't think I'll be needing more than three to four hours. Still seems a waste of time, if you ask me!"

Rose laughed. He had hated how much she slept when they traveled together, insisting that going to this place or the other _had_ to be more fun than lying around in bed for eight hours every day. She imagined that this would be a bit of a blow to the ego for him, actually needing to take part in such an inferior human activity.

"Well, you can always watch telly upstairs or read, I have plenty of books and we can get more for you."

"Sure Rose, that will be fine. Once I have everything for the TARDIS, I'll probably spend a lot of time on her as well."

"Oh, right. Well…"

An awkward silence hung in the air between them again. No one really knew what to do or say next and they were running out of small talk. Not sure if this was the greatest idea, but wanting to make an effort, Rose pressed on.

"Do you… want to watch a movie or something? I'm not really ready for bed either."

The Doctor thought about the loft and that big couch. He wondered if it would be too uncomfortable after what had occurred earlier. She _was_ asking though, not him…

"Um sure… or I could read you a book, if you like?" he asked somewhat shyly.

Rose smiled. It was a little routine they had on the TARDIS, particularly on nights when she was having trouble sleeping. He would come and sit in bed with her and read until she fell asleep. It was one of her favorite memories that she clung to in the years they were separated. She realized that she liked that idea much better.

"Yeah, I'd like that. I'll just uh… I'll go get ready for bed, yeah?"

Oh. He hadn't thought about that part. Would Rose think him too forward? He hadn't meant…

Seeing the uneasiness written all over his face, and feeling that they'd both had enough awkwardness that day, she smiled and said, "I'll just meet you back in the front room, yeah?"

Relief flooded him and he grinned back at her.

"Alright. I'll uh, go get ready too. Guess if I'm sleeping now I shouldn't let those brand new pajamas go to waste! Hmmm, pajamas, what a funny word! Pa-ja-mas. Rolls off the tongue easily enough, but funny nonetheless, don't you think?"

Rose just raised an eyebrow at him.

He shut his mouth before he could continue with his nervous ramble.

"Uh, sure Doctor…whatever you say. I'll um, be right back, ok?" Shaking her head, she walked off.

A little while later he came back to the front room, jim-jamed and ready to read. He was glad she had taken him up on his suggestion, this was a much safer option and one that was tied to many good memories for him. Although he had constantly teased Rose about her inferior need for sleep, he loved those quiet moments they often shared as he read to her while she drifted off. He had missed that so much.

Rose came back a few minutes later. Her hair was in a ponytail, face scrubbed clean of all makeup, and wearing long flannel pajamas. She had never looked more beautiful to him.

"So, what would you like to hear, Rose?"

Wandering over to the bookshelf, she picked up the first book she saw. It didn't really matter what he read. Not tonight, anyway. She was all nerves and excitement. Establishing their routines again would be a good thing, but still she couldn't help but feel a bit timid about it.

"Got this from Mickey, it's a thriller. He said it was pretty good, I just hadn't gotten around to starting it yet."

She walked back over to the couch and handed it over to the Doctor, who scooted over to the very end. He grabbed a cushion and laid it on his lap, patting it. Rose grinned and stretched out, head on the cushion. The Doctor grabbed the afghan off the back of the couch and threw it over her as she snuggled in happily.

"Comfy?"

Nodding, she reached out from underneath the fuzzy blanket and took hold of his left hand with her right, interlocking their fingers and resting them just below her chest. His right hand awkwardly held the book open against the armrest. He wasn't quite sure how he'd manage the page turning but it didn't matter, he was quite content at the moment.

One hour, twenty three minutes, and nineteen seconds later, Rose Tyler was asleep. He had a feeling she hadn't been paying too close attention to the book for a while now, as her breathing had slowed and her grip on his hand had slackened, but he was enjoying the moment too much to stop. Now though, she was making soft snuffly noises, which were the closest she ever came to snoring, and meant she was out cold. The Doctor felt bad, perhaps he should have woken her before now. This had never been a problem on the TARDIS as she had already been in her bed. Not wanting to disturb her, he turned off the light, reclined his portion of the couch and settled in for the night.

Adjusting to the movement, Rose turned in her sleep, facing him now and bringing an arm up which she draped across his chest. Reflexively, she scrunched up a bit of his t-shirt in her fist and snuggled in some more.

Rearranging the blanket to cover them both, the Doctor placed one arm around her shoulders and the other began softly stroking her hair. He closed his eyes and cleared him mind, focusing instead on what it felt like to have Rose so close once more.

Thirty seven minutes and fifty two seconds later, the Doctor was asleep as well.


	15. Chapter 15

My inspiration for part of this chapter came from a wonderfully hilarious GIF I found on pinterest. Not sure who created it, but it's brilliant! pinterestdotcom/pin/262827328226723077/

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One of the most annoying aspects of inhabiting a part human body, the Doctor was finding out, was the odd incongruences that resulted from a mishmash of superior Gallifreyan traits with inferior human ones. Take his kidneys for example; they still functioned as efficiently as they had in his Time Lord body by filtering his blood of toxins at a much faster rate, their efficiency undiminished. However, he now had a human's bladder capacity, by far unequal to his otherwise superior glomerular filtration system. The combination was proving to be quite an inconvenience. It was this physiological quirk that was quickly beginning to ruin the otherwise perfect night he was having.

True to his word, he had awoken a little over three hours later. There were still many more hours ahead of him before Rose woke up but the Doctor felt no need to move from his current position. She was still curled up against him sleeping soundly. Though it was still dark, the moon shone brightly through the glass wall and he could see her relaxed features clearly. A soft wisp of hair had fallen across her face and marveling at the fact that he was even in this situation to begin with, he gently brushed it back and tucked it behind her ear. Reacting to his touch, Rose snuggled closer into him. Her arm reached out for something (his hand possibly?) but smacked him instead. He chuckled quietly and rearranged her arm more comfortably.

Three more hours passed, Rose still asleep, and he still awake. Strictly speaking, it wasn't the most entertaining night of his life. He had always had his library and tinkering under the TARDIS console to keep him occupied while Rose slept. Never would he have imagined that lying here watching someone sleep would ever be a remotely acceptable way to spend his time. However, when it came to his pink and yellow girl, he realized that the Medusa Cascade itself paled in comparison. As he watched her, the Doctor thought about the events of the past couple of days and the potential their future held. His grasp on timelines was incredibly limited now, but he felt that things would turn out alright for them. This in conjunction with the TARDIS coral's warm reassuring hums every now and again helped him feel more at ease, particularly when he began to feel somewhat overwhelmed and frustrated as he had the day before.

It was while he contemplated these things that this physiological bother asserted itself. Shifting gingerly so as to not disturb Rose, the Doctor tried to get more comfortable and ignore the signals his body was sending him. It didn't help that at that precise moment, she decided to turn over, slamming her head back down on the cushion, directly above his already protesting bladder. Squeezing his eyes shut, the Doctor tried not to groan as Rose continued to squirm, unable to get comfortable.

If he tried to get up to go to the loo, he'd surely wake her up and then she'd stumble off to bed. As cozy as they were on the couch now, he doubted she would deliberately request they continue this sleeping arrangement… they weren't quite past the awkwardness enough for that. No, getting up was not an option… That just wouldn't do.

And so, for the next hour he tried futilely to occupy his mind with less urgent thoughts. Whether Rose had uncanny timing or the universe was just having a laugh at his expense, he did not know, but from that moment on she tossed and turned frequently… increasing the uncomfortable pressure. When the first streaks of pink and purple began to appear in the sky, the Doctor had reached his limit. He _had_ to go. He would just have to be extra careful not to disturb her then. Sitting up slowly, he pushed the footrest underneath him so that he could properly plant his feet back on the floor before shifting her. This was too much movement for Rose, however. Still asleep, she must have thought her pillow was trying to make a run for it because she proceeded to stop its escape with one well-placed slam of her fist.

"Bloody hell!" cried the Doctor as he practically jumped straight up, nearly dumping Rose off the couch.

Sitting up and rubbing her eyes, Rose blinked a few times, completely confused.

"Doctor…? What-"

He never got to hear the end of her question. Sprinting off, he was already halfway back to his room.

A few minutes later, the Doctor re-emerged feeling much better though slightly sheepish. He hoped Rose had just lain back down and fallen asleep again… if she had, chances were she probably wouldn't remember what had just happened. As he passed by the kitchen however, he saw her shuffling around about to put the kettle on, hair all over the place.

No such luck, then.

He cleared his throat. "Good morning… sorry about… before. I uh… well, you see…"

Rose shook her head slightly and held up a hand. Apparently it was still too early for any sort of conversation, good. He remembered her doing this aboard the TARDIS when he would drag her out of bed early for something that just could not wait.

Approaching, he gave her a lop-sided grin, which she half-heartedly returned, eyes still bleary. She closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his waist, closing her eyes and leaning into him. The Doctor smiled and rested his chin atop her messy hair, content to just stand there rocking her gently side to side. She was still more asleep than awake, he could tell.

The kettle whistled and they disentangled themselves. Rose sat down heavily, resting her head in her hands as the Doctor poured the tea. They sat together in companionable silence, sipping their warm drink as Rose slowly began to wake up a little more. When she seemed a bit livelier, he got up and began going through the cupboards for some bread and jam. Putting in a few slices and cranking up the speed, the Doctor turned around and went in search of some butter. Rose got up with a small groan and set about retrieving some plates and knives.

She stood against the wall, mug in her hand and watched the Doctor half juggle half toss the incinerated toast as it came flying out of the toaster. What did he think he was doing, turning it up all the way?

Determined to salvage his attempt at breakfast, he slathered butter and jam onto each slice and turned back to Rose, presenting her with the plate and a grin reminiscent of Tony when he accomplished some amazing feat for the first time.

Stifling a yawn and a giggle simultaneously, Rose took the toast and returned to the table, where they both sat and ate in a rather crunchy silence for a few moments. Finally starting to feel a bit more awake, Rose smiled at the Doctor between mouthfuls.

"Sorry I fell asleep on you last night… that must have been rather uncomfortable, all those hours. "

Oh no… so she had noticed.

"No, not at all, Rose!" he lied through one of his manic grins. "I didn't want to wake you… you seemed so comfortable."

Raising an eyebrow at him over her mug, she took a sip and then set it down. "Was that before or after I punched you in the gut, Doctor?"

"Oh. Well, uh, before I suppose…" He grinned at her.

Laughing, she shook her head. "I'm so sorry about that, I didn't realize it was you... Are you ok?"

"Yes! I'm fine Rose, it's quite alright." He studied his toast as intently as if it were a never before seen alien species, demanding his utmost attention.`

Tongue peeking out, she flashed him one of her mile wide grins. "Good… So, what do you want to do today? Pete said I should take a few days off before returning to work, so really we could do anything."

Excitement outweighing his embarrassment, he looked up hopefully. "Anything?"

"Yeah, anything. Why, did you have something in mind?"

Winking, the Doctor put on his best Northern accent and said, "What would you say to some fish and chips, Rose Tyler?"

He was rewarded with another mile wide grin.

After showering and getting ready, the Doctor waited for Rose back in the front room again. He had decided to wear some of the more casual clothes they had picked out, settling on a pair of dark wash jeans, a slightly fitted gray jumper, and his black Converses. His hair was as good as he was ever going to get it and he had sonic'ed his face free of that annoyingly stubborn facial hair that seemed to grow at a much faster rate now than it ever had before.

Not too long after, Rose joined him looking as stunning as ever. Her clothing style seemed to have changed over the years they had been apart. Of course she had grown up quite a bit, it was only to be expected. Still, though different, there was something so undeniably _Rose_ about what she wore these days, just not as pink or loud as it had been during their previous travels. Her hair was down, pulled back in the center as it had been the day they had found one another again. Her makeup was more subtle.

Rose in turn, admired her Doctor as well. Her stomach did a somersault as he stood up and grinned at her, hands in his pockets and looking a bit unsure of his new look. She wasn't sure if she'd ever get used to this new slightly shy side of him, but she had to admit, it was quite adorable.

Their day was spent showing him around this world's London, though she avoided Torchwood for the moment. After lunch at Rose's favorite chipie, they went to a few museums and generally just wandered about, hand in hand. Their conversation grew easier, both feeling a bit more confident in themselves as well as each other. By the middle of the afternoon, Rose's feet hurt. She hadn't done this much walking in… well, a long time.

As they drove back to the flat, Rose's mobile rang. It was Pete. The Doctor's ears perked up as he caught his muffled name and what sounded like "papers," and "bring him by" amongst other snippets of the conversation. Rose was looking a little tense by the time she said goodbye and hung up.

"So… that was Pete. He says all your documentation is ready at Torchwood if we want to swing by to pick it up. We don't have to though, we can always go by tomorrow… or some other time."

The Doctor sighed quietly. They had been having such a lovely day together, he didn't want anything to ruin it but he supposed he might as well get this over with. It was just some paperwork… and he'd probably get roped into a tour by Pete, but he could handle that. Rose knew he had reservations about the whole thing, surely she would keep things as painless as possible for him.

"No, that's fine Rose, we should just go."

Not expecting him to actually agree to it, she looked over at him to see if he really meant it. "Are you sure Doctor? We really don't have to, it can wait a few more days."

He shrugged. "Really Rose, it's fine. Besides, I'm sure your co-workers will be happy to see you back."

Taking a deep breath, Rose nodded. She realized this moment had come a bit sooner than even she was ready for and kind of wished he had been against going. It would have given her more time to… prepare him.

"Listen Doctor, about that… there's something I need to tell you."

His stomach dropped. This is the part she would tell him about the bloke in her life. The one that was the comforting best mate at first but then slowly turned into more. Of course she had met someone… how could she not have? No wonder she had been so hesitant. It wasn't just that he wasn't "him" it was also that her heart had taken refuge in someone else in his absence and now she would have to choose. He clenched his jaw and tried his hardest to keep a neutral look on his face, waiting for it.

"I was hoping to have this conversation with you at home… I thought we'd have a bit more time before you'd have to deal with this.

Keeping his gaze fixed straight ahead, he gave a quick shake of the head. "Rose, you don't have to… its fine. You don't owe me any explanations."

"But I do, Doctor… I don't think you understand. When I-"

Not wanting to do this, the Doctor opened and closed his fists a few times, feeling trapped and wishing desperately he had just refused to go. "Please, Rose. Let's just not, ok?"

Starting to get a little frustrated, she let out an exasperated sigh. "What are you- listen, I just need to explain-"

"I said I would go, alright? What else do you want from me?! Unless you would rather I change my mind? Would that make this _easier_ for you? Put it off until _you're_ _ready_?" The sharp, mocking sarcasm in his voice was hard to miss, especially with that last part.

Rose felt like she had just been punched in the gut. The Doctor was rude, yes, but he was never cruel. She glanced at him and found his face set in that cold glare she absolutely hated. Fuming, she stayed silent and continued to drive. When things hit the fan, he better not _dare_ complain that she didn't tell him.

The rest of the ride was spent in stony silence. Thankfully, they had been relatively close to Torchwood when Pete had called, so it didn't last long. Once they arrived, Rose got out of the car, slammed the door and started walking towards the lift at the end of the parking garage. Knowing that he was being unreasonable but not caring enough to stop, the Doctor slammed his door even harder and stalked off after her.

They refused to look at one another in the lift.

With a soft ding, the doors opened into a modern looking building. It was not the Torchwood at Canary Warf, but still quite magnificent in its size and architectural design. The Torchwood logo was still the same and prominent throughout. As Rose strode up to the main reception area, she got many waves and smiles, as well as a few hushed whispers and curious looks. It was obvious that news of her return had spread, and with it probably a degree of curiosity regarding the handsome, lanky fellow trailing grudgingly behind her. Rose's face clearly let everyone know she was not up for conversation, so no one tried to approach her or the mysterious new man.

"Hello Phyllis, will you please let Mr. Tyler know that we're on our way up to see him?"

"Ms. Tyler, hello! Actually, he just let me know that he would be waiting for you in your office."

"Oh. Ok, thank you Phyllis."

"You're welcome Ms. Tyler… and it's nice to see you again, we're all very glad you're back!"

Smiling genuinely, Rose thanked the receptionist and turned again without a word to the Doctor. She headed towards another set of lifts on the opposite side of the lobby. Again they rode in silence, neither ready nor willing to be the first to break it. Once more the doors dinged softly and opened up to another lobby, though this one was much smaller and not nearly as busy as the one below. There were two corridors on either side of the reception desk. Rose set off immediately without looking back. Approaching the desk, she took a deep breath and smiled at the receptionist who had looked up just then and stood up to greet her.

"Rose! It's good to see you! Blimey, didn't think I'd ever see you again…so, this must be him then! Your Doctor?"

Rose nodded, crossing her arms and pivoting a little, as she glanced over her shoulder.

The Doctor just stood there, eyes wide, completely gobsmacked. He just continued gawking at her and growing tired of it quickly, the receptionist folded her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes.

"Oi! What? Have I suddenly sprouted a second head, alien boy?"

The Doctor spluttered. Before him stood Donna Noble, fiery as ever.


	16. Chapter 16

Rose couldn't help but grin. She shouldn't feel this smug. It must have been a rather unpleasant shock for him but part of her just wanted to smack him and say, "I told you so!" The other part of her, however, wanted to rush to him and hold his hand.

Still not responding to the fiery ginger in front of him, the Doctor turned to shoot Rose an incredulous glare. She knew. Rose _knew_! How could she not have- oh. OH. Heat flushed his face and his scowl quickly vanished, replaced instead by a look of chagrin.

Rose softened and went to him, threading her fingers through his and giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Well? Anyone going to tell me what that was about?! And you, stop it with the staring!"

Rose laughed. "Sorry Donna, yes, this is the Doctor. And I'm sorry, we hadn't gotten the chance to talk about you being here. He didn't know."

"Oh. Well, alright then...Yes, hello I'm Donna Noble. Obviously not _your_ Donna Noble… I wouldn't be daft enough to go flying around in some crazy blue box with an alien!"

The Doctor gawked again.

Realizing what she had said, Donna glanced quickly at Rose and grimaced. "Oh, sorry Rose. I didn't mean it like _that_…"

Rose just shook her head and smiled.

Suddenly the Doctor let out an almighty, "HA!" He then doubled over in laughter and had to take a few steps forward, holding onto the desk for support. Donna rolled her eyes again, looking at him like he was mental.

Rose grinned. She hadn't been sure how he would react but she certainly hadn't expected this.

Pete suddenly emerged from the first door down the corridor off to the left. He looked around confused and then arched an eyebrow at the grown man still cackling like a hyena, clutching the receptionist's desk for support.

"Everything alright? I thought I heard…" He looked at the Doctor with a mixed expression of amusement and concern.

"Yes, we're fine Pete. Come on, Doctor, I'll explain in my office, yeah? Come on!" She had to tug at him to force him away from the desk where he was still laughing. Quieting down, he shot Donna one last manic grin and let Rose lead him away.

Pete closed the door behind them and they all sat down. The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck nervously, remembering all of a sudden his behavior on the way there and feeling quite the fool for it. He looked over at Rose, contrite, and began to open his mouth to apologize but she gave a slight shake of the head and a small smile.

"We'll talk about it later, ok?"

He nodded, looking a bit relieved. He wasn't too keen on having that conversation in front of Pete.

"So… I see you've met Donna. I'm assuming Rose-"

"No, I didn't… we hadn't quite gotten there yet when you called and then… well, we just didn't get to talk about it before coming up here."

Pete looked surprised at that statement but went on. "Oh. Well then, Doctor, as you can see there is a Donna Noble in this universe. Rose tells me she is quite similar to the one in yours?"

His mood suddenly quite somber, the Doctor furrowed his eyebrows. "Yes, she seems to be. At least at first glance. But… has she always worked here? For _Torchwood_? That would be quite the coincidence." He crossed his arms and settled back in his chair, waiting for an explanation and wondering if he'd like it very much.

Pete and Rose exchanged a quick glance.

"Well, not strictly speaking, no. When Rose started encountering your Donna on her jumps with the dimension cannon I thought it might be helpful if we could interact with this universe's Donna Noble on our end… yours didn't exactly seem to be the most cooperative person at first and Rose needed to learn how to best gain her trust."

The Doctor was right, he didn't really like where this was going at all.

Sensing this, Rose spoke up. "We offered her a job here which she accepted freely. Torchwood is not secretive in this universe, you know that, so she was happy to come on. I'll admit, we didn't tell her right away and she was furious when I did, but she stayed anyway and was extremely helpful and forthcoming."

"So she knew then… Everything you were doing with Donna? And she was perfectly ok with essentially being a lab rat under observation?"

Rose tried very hard not to roll her eyes.

"Yes Doctor, she knew. She is extremely bright and naturally curious. It's what prompted her to accept our initial job offer in the first place. Even before she knew, she was always asking about my missions and what I was working on. So after she got over the initial anger at our… ulterior motives, she was keen to help out and be a part of the task. She talks big, you know, but really I think she's quite chuffed that an alternate version of herself was running around saving planets and exploring the universe with you."

The Doctor paused to consider this. It did sound an awful lot like his Donna. He still didn't like the way they had gone about it, but couldn't blame them for trying. How many people had he lied to over the centuries to get the information he needed to solve a problem?

Rose could see his wheels turning and offered up an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way… but really Doctor, Donna loves it here and has stayed of her own free will. When I told her, she knew she was free to leave Torchwood at any time, and honestly I expected her to. But she didn't, she wanted to stay. We've become good friends, even. I can see why you loved traveling with her, they are quite spectacular, both Donnas!"

The Doctor couldn't help the grin that suddenly sprung across his face. Yes, Donna Noble truly was amazing. A tiny spark of hope began to grow within him, perhaps he hadn't lost his best mate after all. It would be a bit odd at first, as they technically were strangers to each other, but if what Rose had said about her was true, then perhaps he and this Donna could grow to be friends as well. She could never replace _his_ Donna, of course, but it might just ease the pain a tiny bit. A new understanding of some of what Rose must be feeling dawned on him.

"So she knows about me? Everything?"

"Well, yes… I felt comfortable telling her most things. She wanted to know what it was about you that had made an alternate version of herself fly off with an alien in a blue box!"

The Doctor chuckled. "Well, I bet I'll get another slap when I tell her she was initially kidnapped on her wedding day!"

Rose raised an eyebrow, a curious grin on her Doctor winked at her and she knew she was in for an interesting story later.

Clearing his throat, Pete spoke up. "Well, glad that's settled then. Now, about your documents, Doctor…" He opened up a manila envelope and began withdrawing from it documents that would establish the Doctor's identity. He handed them over, one by one to be inspected.

As the Doctor looked over his driver's license & passport (how had they even gotten a picture of him?) birth certificate and a myriad of other physical proofs of his existence on Pete's World, he felt an uncomfortable sense of finality to it all. Something within him suddenly raged at the feeling of being caged, the possibility of being rooted to this one place and time… forever. The room abruptly became far too warm and stuffy. He unexpectedly found it hard to breathe.

Rose had been watching him carefully and noticed immediately when his face suddenly took on a desperate sort of look. He dropped the papers onto the desk in front of him, his fists balling up, knuckles turning white. Rose could see his chest starting to rise and fall at an alarmingly fast pace. She looked at Pete and gave an almost imperceptible shake of the head. Taking it as a cue, Pete rose from his chair.

"Well… I suppose you two have some things to talk about. I'll just be off then, come and find me if you need anything." With that, he quickly walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Rose extended a hand, resting it gently on his arm.

"Doctor… are you alright? Look at me."

Turning his head slightly, his eyes locked onto hers and he tried to calm down. He had never experienced this in his Time Lord body. Burying his emotions, denying them any power over his mind and physical body, that is what he had always excelled at. This feeling of his body rebelling against him, heart racing, lungs not taking in enough air, and a crushing weight on his chest… this was all very foreign to him and he didn't quite understand what or why it was happening. His eyes widened as he began to feel more and more like he was suffocating. Unknowingly, his hand reached up to pull on the collar of his jumper, determined to loosen its vice like grip on his throat.

Rose stood and gently pulled him up with her. She took his hand off his collar, placed it over her heart, and held it there while she held the other one tightly with her other hand.

"Doctor, look at me. I need you to focus, yeah? Look at my eyes."

Rose's voice sounded so very far away. It was like he had cotton balls stuffed in his ears all of a sudden, but she persisted and he finally understood and locked his eyes on hers, stopping his frantic scan across the room.

"Alright, good… now breathe with me, ok? Try to time your breaths with mine. Can you feel them?" She pressed slightly on his hand, over her chest.

He looked down for a moment, focusing on her hand upon his, and tried to zero in on what he was feeling beneath his own hand. It took a few seconds, but finally… there it was, the gentle rise and fall. Clinging to it like a lifeline, he closed his eyes and tried to match his breaths with hers.

Rose remained quiet, rubbing soothing circles with her thumb onto the hand she held, and continuing to put gentle pressure on his other hand over her heart. She took slow, deep breaths and watched as his chest gradually began to mimic the rhythmic rise and fall of her own.

When the tension on his face and shoulders slackened, and his breathing had quieted down, Rose gently gathered him in her arms and placed a soft, feather light kiss upon his lips. She felt his mouth twitch slightly under hers, and a long quiet breath escaped his lips before he smiled in relief. He rested his head on her shoulder, turning his face into her neck. Rose reached up and began to softly play with his hair. They stood there, arms around each other, for a little while longer.

"Better?"

Pulling away slightly, in order to look at her, he smiled sheepishly. "Yeah… a bit. I- I'm sorry, Rose… I don't know what just happened. I've never-"

"Shhh… it's ok. You just had a panic attack, Doctor. I could see it coming on before you even knew what was happening. I'm sorry."

The Doctor frowned. Panic attack. That sounded so… repulsive. Time Lords didn't have panic attacks. He felt shame and disgust and wanted to crawl out of his skin.

Sensing his anxiety climbing again, Rose put a hand up to his face, cradling his cheek.

"Doctor, shhh… I know this is quite new to you, this human side of yourself, but it's ok. These things happen, yeah? I had them all the time when I first got here. I can help you."

What she meant as a comforting statement only made things worse, as his thoughts turned even more turbulent. Remorse and guilt threatened to overwhelm him as he pictured Rose, his beautiful Rose, having these panic attacks because of him. Because he had refused to breach the void again to come back for her. Tears stung his eyes.

"Rose… I'm so sorry… I wish I could have-" His voice failed him as his breaths became ragged again. All he could do was crush her to him.

Realizing her mistake, Rose rubbed soothing circles across his back and pulled one of his hands back to rest over her heart again.

"It's ok, Doctor, really. Please, don't torture yourself about that, yeah? It's alright now. Come on, breathe with me, ok?"

She pulled away slightly to give their chests more room to expand. He closed his eyes once more and it broke Rose's heart to see tears rolling down his face. She wished she could take his pain away, but knew from experience that it was just not possible. So she focused on easing his body's tension instead.

"That's right, just like before. Match my breathing."

With the hand that was not holding his over her chest, Rose reached up and wiped away his tears. She stood up on her tip toes and placed a kiss on each eyelid, and then his nose, and then each corner of his mouth. His breathing quieted down again but when he slowly opened his eyes, they continued to silently implore her forgiveness.

Sensing the need for a change in tactics, Rose stepped a bit closer to him, and quietly spoke. "I know this side of being human is not fun, Doctor, but having this body can't be all bad?"

Confused, he furrowed his eyebrows, not quite understanding her meaning. But then he caught the mischievous glint in her eyes as she reached up and threaded her hand back into his hair, pulling his face down closer to hers. He closed his eyes again as she kissed him once more, softly at first, her lips smiling as they gently danced over his. Gradually he felt her grow bolder, her other hand snaking around his waist and settling on his lower back, applying gentle pressure towards her. Her lips became more persistent as they left his and began their attentions on his jaw and neck, working their way down to the hollow at the base of his throat, just above the v-cut collar of his jumper.

Unable to form an intelligible thought, the Doctor just tightened his arms around her and marveled at the new and quite intense sensations Rose was causing this body with human hormones to feel all of a sudden. As a full Time Lord he had always found Rose physically attractive, extremely in fact, but he had never felt anything like this before. Just as he started to feel his legs begin to weaken, Rose worked her way back up to his lips and gave him the most magnificent snog of his entire nine hundred plus years of life… or memories of that life, anyway.

When they broke apart, the Doctor opened his eyes again and was greeted with his most favorite Rose smile. Bringing her hands back down to rest on his chest, she gave him on last soft peck on the lips and then asked, "Better?"

Not being able to help himself, he beamed down at her like the maniacal fool he was. "Oh yes!" he replied in true Doctor fashion.

Rose giggled softly and hugged him tight. The Doctor encircled her waist with his arms again and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Thank you Rose… you always know how to make me feel better."

"Any time, Doctor."

Pulling back, he eyed her with a mischievous and slightly hopeful grin of his own. "Any time? We can do that again? Really?"

This time Rose threw her head back as a loud laugh bubbled up out of her. "Yes, of course, you big idiot!"

Smiling smugly, the Doctor pulled her into a snog of his own and as they began to acquaint themselves with this new and more physical side of their relationship, the Doctor managed to think to himself that panic attacks and all, having a part human body might not be that bad of a thing after all…


	17. Chapter 17

As they emerged from Rose's office, Donna noticed that the Doctor's crazy hair seemed a bit more lopsided than it had been when she first saw him. She didn't even want to know what they had gotten up to in there after Mr. Tyler had left, but as she observed Rose's beaming face she was genuinely pleased for her friend. Though she did not know the man, the look he was giving Rose assured Donna that his feelings for her were as real as Rose had hoped.

When Donna first accepted the strange but rather welcome offer to join the ranks at Torchwood, she had quickly learned of the rumors that revolved around Rose Tyler. Some of them were preposterous, quite frankly, but others were… well, just very very sad. Donna didn't know what to expect from her new boss, but quickly came to realize that Rose was a very kind person, though reserved for the most part. She was brilliant and apt at dealing with all that alien stuff as if she had been doing it all her life…and for all she knew, perhaps Rose had been. Not much was public knowledge about the Tyler heiress. Donna was new to the organization, yes, but even she could tell that things had changed at Torchwood when Rose mysteriously popped up out of nowhere and had shortly thereafter been given her position by her father. Not everyone there liked that and she had made a few enemies in the process, but it didn't seem to bother her in in the least. Rose treated everyone fairly whether they were genuine with her or not. She wasn't stupid though and had confided in Donna that she knew what people were constantly whispering behind her back. She was just too busy to care and had more important things to worry about than workplace politics. Donna respected her all the more for that.

When Rose had sat her down one day in her office and confessed the reason Torchwood had approached her, Donna was livid. Having worked as a secretary most of her life, she didn't really think her job skills had merited being singled out by an organization such as this one, but part of her had secretly preened at the fact that they had. Feeling that she was basically a glorified and well compensated lab rat had crushed her. Most of all, she felt betrayed by Rose, the one person she had truly come to like and feel esteemed by since coming to Torchwood.

Rose apologized profusely, and with tears in her eyes had held Donna's hand as she confided everything. She told her things Donna was pretty sure not many people at Torchwood even knew, things that both confirmed and debunked numerous rumors that had been circling around the water coolers for ages. She learned more about The Doctor and Rose's travels, the years she spent with him. While she didn't go into very much detail, Donna could tell how much this man meant to her personally, as well as to the safety of a universe she hadn't even known existed up until quite recently. Not to mention their own, what with all the stars going out and all. Then Rose told her about her other self in the parallel universe and oh what a shock, and yes even thrill, as Donna learned that she too had traveled with this… this intergalactic cowboy that dashed about saving planets and stars and all of creation really. While _she_ hadn't done any of that, part of her couldn't help but swell with pride, knowing that somewhere out there was a little piece of her capable of doing great things. In all her life, Donna had never dared to hope that she could make even the smallest difference in the world.

And that had been that, really. When Rose had finished and told her in a small voice that of course she would understand if she wanted to leave Torchwood, Donna couldn't help but want to both slap and hug her boss. She might be rude and quite loud at times, but Donna Noble was also fiercely loyal. Knowing what she now knew, there was no way she could abandon Rose or her efforts to get back to this man in order to save both universes from the unnamed threat that had taken the form of a blackened, starless night. And so she had stayed.

From then on Donna had thrown herself into her work with all the energy she could muster, often spending nights at Rose's flat. Between talk of timelines and dimension hopping, the women also continued to foster a strong friendship, laughing and gossiping over glasses of wine late into the night. Others at Torchwood thought it strange that Rose Tyler and her receptionist should suddenly be so close, but the two women had no problem with their situation and slipped quite easily between work and "hanging with their good mate" mode. Every time Rose prepared for another jump with the canon, Donna was always by her side ready with a fierce hug as she said goodbye quite possibly for the last time. It pained her to know that she might never see Rose again, but she wished so very badly that her friend would find her Doctor and stop whatever was going on. When the stars had started to come back, Donna knew it must have worked. Then Pete finally got a call from his wife and knowing that Donna would want to know, came to see her from his office.

"They're back, Miss. Noble, Rose and the Doctor are back! I just thought you'd like to know." He gave her one last smile and then hurried back to his office. Shortly thereafter, Torchwood was abuzz with excitement over the news, everyone eagerly anticipating their return… some less than others, but for the most part, everyone was pleased and very much relieved. She later came to find out more details as to their location and figured that it would be a few days before she would see them. She was so curious and excited to meet this fantastical man she had heard so much about and prided herself in knowing that she had played a part in their reunion, even if it was only miniscule.

When they finally showed up, Donna was surprised to say the least. Rose had described him many times over, but she hadn't expected him to be quite so… skinny. His famous hair she was always going on about just looked a bit odd, like he'd been caught up in a windstorm or something… perhaps a vacuum cleaner? He wasn't bad looking, but Donna could never really find him attractive, no definitely not. She wondered what in the world Rose Tyler had seen in this strange man who had just stood there and gawked at her like an idiot buffoon.

She was brought out of her reminiscing by Rose as she dropped the Doctor's hand and came around the desk, crushing her with a hug. Donna laughed and hugged her back. The Doctor just stared at them, a strange look flashed across his face, only to be quickly replaced by that goofy grin of his again.

"Oh Donna, it's so good to see you again! Can you believe it? I'm back! And with this one in tow to boot! We never had that one pegged, did we?"

Donna laughed again and shook her head. "No, we didn't! How did you manage? Punch them aliens in the face? Oh go on then, tell me you did! Gave them a good slap for me too, yeah?" She winked.

Shaking her head in amusement, she replied, "No… not quite. It's a long story really… we should have you over for dinner and we'll tell you all about it ok? Tomorrow night sound alright?"

Aha! So he _was_ staying at her flat! Well of course, that made complete sense. The poor bloke, she wondered if he had any idea what awaited him… though by the look on his face earlier, perhaps he already did. She smirked at the thought.

"Sure, I'd love it! I'll bring the sparkling wine?"

The Doctor raised an eyebrow as the two women suddenly broke into a fit of hysterical giggles.

After regaining composure, Rose gave Donna one more hug and joined the Doctor. "Absolutely, I'll give you a ring! We're just going to walk around now, give him the tour and all that."

"Alright, see you then. Nice meeting you Doctor. Just stop it with the staring and we'll be good, yeah?"

Chuckling slightly, the Doctor just nodded and beamed back at her. He was going to like this Donna, he could tell.

As they walked towards the lift, Rose looked over at him and couldn't help but smile. Unlike the last time they had kissed back in her flat, she had not freaked out just now when things had gotten a little more intense. Not that they'd done much of anything but snog, but she felt that this was a big step for her. It had felt natural, easy even… guilt had not plagued her. She recalled with a thrill how eagerly he had responded and quite enjoyed knowing that she had such an effect on him. When they had finally managed to regain control of themselves, remembering where they were, the Doctor had straightened himself up and quite enthusiastically asked Rose for a tour. She was definitely surprised at his request, but agreed and suggested they go check out the Research and Development labs. Rose was sure he would like it there and was hopeful that it would pique his interest in joining her at Torchwood. Perhaps she ought to snog him more often if that's all it took to change his mind about things he was so adamant against… not that she needed much of an excuse, not anymore really.

As they rode in the elevator, he looked down at her and she guessed that her face probably mirrored his. She saw mischief in his eyes and a touch of leftover shyness. After years of suppressing so much, this new openness and never before indulged upon physicality was going to take some getting used to on both their parts. Her Doctor in brown had always been so careful about what he permitted and while they had often hugged, held hands, and flirted relentlessly, an unspoken line had always existed and was one that neither had ever dared to cross. That line had been slowly becoming more and more blurred over the past few days, and while done haltingly and with a good measure of awkwardness, Rose felt that they were both finally on the same page with regards to what they wanted. Almost as if he could read her mind, the Doctor raised an eyebrow and grinned, his cheeks still a bit flushed. Rose grinned back. If Jackie had been present she would have rolled her eyes and smacked them both.

When the doors opened, they exited the lift and Rose led them down a relatively quiet hallway. Staff in white lab coats could be seen through various windows, most of which looked up and waved as they saw them walk by. As they neared their destination, which the Doctor had surmised to be the door at the end of the hallway, another door opened to their left and they almost walked right into a woman that was coming through it. Upon seeing them, she stopped and stared. She did not seem very surprised to see them, and her expression was not a warm one either.

"Rose, I heard you were back. Save us all then, did you?" Her tone was light and she added a smile and a quick breathy laugh as if to soften the comment.

Rose groaned inwardly, this was certainly not someone she had been looking forward to seeing again. Stella Evans had been a thorn in her side for years now.

"No, not at all, Stella. We have the Doctor to thank for that."

Rose gestured to him with a smile, though it did not reach her eyes. She stood up a little straighter though given the height difference, it did little for her confidence. Stella was tall and thin. Quite tall actually, almost as tall as the Doctor himself, though not quite... perhaps an inch or two shorter. She dressed in a smart looking suit and lab coat and had long, dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. Her eyes were a startling shade of blue and she looked to be in her late twenties or perhaps early thirties. Most men thought she was the most attractive woman at Torchwood, and by the way she carried herself, she knew it.

Stella's eyes darted down to their intertwined fingers and then back up to the Doctor's face. Her feigned smile broadened and she extended a hand.

"Ah, right. It's a pleasure to meet you… finally. After all these years, I'm afraid we were all starting to wonder if you weren't just a figment of poor Rose's overworked mind."

The Doctor felt Rose's fingers twitch. He quickly looked back and forth between the two women and raised an eyebrow. Something was… off.

Shaking her outstretched hand, he smiled and chuckled, "Nope! " He loudly popped the "p" which made Stella take a little step back. "Definitely real! A touch less me and a bit more Donna, but still real I assure you."

The woman just stared. The Doctor smiled and continued looking around, becoming distracted with something in the lab when Stella did not continue the conversation.

Recovering, she cleared her throat and took a step forward again.

"Yes, well welcome to Torchwood, Doctor. I'm Stella Evans and I'm the head of this department. Feel free to look around my labs."

Turning back to her, he gave a nod. "Oh yes, I was planning to."

Smiling even wider, Stella took yet another step forward and casually placed a hand on his forearm, ever so lightly. "I do hope you'll consider joining us, I've heard so much about your expertise in alien technology. We would be honored if you would impart some of that knowledge, there is still so much we do not understand. "

Rose tried very hard not to roll her eyes.

Looking slightly uncomfortable, the Doctor pulled his arm away and rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, well… you see, I haven't quite made up my mind yet about what I want to do here… if anything."

"Of course, yes, I understand. My door is always open though, if you ever wish to join Research and Development. Stop by any time, Doctor."

Without even looking back in Rose's direction, she wished him a good day and walked away, back ramrod straight and head held high, her pony tail swishing in time to the clicks of her heels on the marble floor.

Seemingly oblivious to the tension between the two women, the Doctor turned to Rose and grinned. "So, why don't you show me these labs then? I think I spotted someone trying to use a Metebelis Crystal back there, those can be quite dangerous… cost me a regeneration once!"

Rose looked a bit taken aback. "Wait, what? Are you sure you should be going near it then, Doctor?"

Pulling her along, he grinned. "Weeeell… The radiation strength depends on how many of those there are, though strictly speaking, I probably shouldn't since I'm not sure what this new body of mine is doing half the time now."

She stopped dead in her tracks and since they were still joined at the hands he was forced to as well. Rose fixed him with one of her looks. "Doctor… why don't you just wait out here and I'll go find out how many of those are in there, yeah?"

"But then where would be the fun in that, Rose Tyler?" Grinning even wider, he winked at her and with one final tug pulled her through the doors to the lab, already making a beeline for a table in the back corner where a pile of softly glowing crystals lay.

The sheer excitement in his eyes confirmed to Rose that her hunch had been correct. It wouldn't take very long down here to convince the Doctor to give in and join the ranks at Torchwood. Up until then she had been so worried about _how_ to convince him that she had never paused to consider if she really _should_. As they neared the potentially dangerous pile of crystals, she realized how much more careful he would have to be now that he had just the one life left. Fear gripped her as she thought of all the accidental injuries and even deaths that occurred at Torchwood each year and suddenly she wondered what in the world she had been thinking when she brought him there.


	18. Chapter 18

The Metebelis crystals turned out to be rather harmless. Well, perhaps not completely benign, but safe enough for the half-human Time Lord to handle safely. Unlike the ones that had caused him to regenerate into his fourth incarnation, these were small enough in number that they did not put out any significant form of radiation. However, their different effect on psychic abilities intrigued the Doctor.

"It seems, Rose, that here in this universe these crystals do the exact opposite of what they do back in our universe! Normally they would serve as an enhancer for someone's psychic abilities, but these are not doing so, are they?" he asked, turning to the Torchwood employee.

"No sir, they're not. We have been running some tests and our empaths have all confirmed that in their presence, they are unable to sense other's emotions."

Tossing one of the softly glowing gems up in the air, the Doctor grinned and replied, "Yep! That's what I thought."

"How did you know that, sir? Are you an empath as well?"

Placing the crystal back down and looking around the lab at other work stations, the Doctor shrugged. "Not as such, no. Weeeell, not strictly speaking anyway, though I do have other psychic abilities. Tell me… I'm sorry, what's your name?"

"Tim, sir."

"Ah, right, Tim then! Tell me Tim, what exactly are you doing with these crystals?"

"Well, studying them, for starters. We just acquired them in a trade."

"I see… and any idea on what Torchwood plans on doing with them after you're done studying them?"

Rose sighed. His tone was ever so light but she could hear an undercurrent of a challenge in it. Of course he thought they were up to no good. She crossed her arms and fixed the Doctor with one of her glares. If he noticed, he didn't seem to care.

Looking awkwardly from the Doctor's face to Rose's clearly annoyed one and back again to the Doctor, Tim cleared his throat. "It's all still in its very early stages, but the initial interest is pointing towards a defensive amulet of sorts. After our run ins with various less than friendly psychic species, we realized that our basic defensive psychic training won't always be enough."

"I see."

Rose watched as his jaw quit clenching and his posture began to relax. For all his initial excitement, she could tell it would be a while before he felt truly comfortable here and even longer before he stopped seeing nefarious intent in everything the company was doing. She really couldn't blame him, she had had the same attitude at first as well. She would just have to be patient with him as Pete had been with her.

"Well then, carry on Tim! As you were!"

And just like that the Doctor turned to Rose (his manic grin plastered back onto his face) and before either she or Tim could react, had flitted away a few stations over like a four year old, unable to stay focused on one toy for too long. He quickly struck up a conversation with the scientist there and much to her horror, picked up whatever it was she was working on and licked it with little preamble. Rose hurried over, trying hard not to laugh. She had forgotten how jarring that little habit of his could be, particularly for someone that was not acquainted with his eccentricities.

The rest of the afternoon was spent poking around the various labs. Rose watched as the Doctor grew more excited, particularly when he was able to in moments solve several problems that had been plaguing a handful of researchers with their respective projects. Ever the showoff, he still enjoyed displaying his impressive knowledge and cleverness.

As they walked back to her car, Rose reached for his hand and playfully bumped him with her shoulder. "So, discover any evil plots that need thwarting, Doctor? Any Yvonne Hartman's in the making?"

Chuckling a bit, the Doctor bumped her right back. "Not yet, Rose Tyler. But I'm still looking, trust me."

Rolling her eyes, she smiled and shook her head. Patience, she reminded herself. Patience.

On the way home they picked up some dinner and made plans for a quiet night in front of a movie to unwind from the day's excitement. Rose's feet were killing her and she couldn't wait to get home and into her jimjams.

When they got back to the flat, she disappeared into her room, promising to be right back after changing. Not knowing if they would be spending another night on the couch or not (he secretly hoped they would) the Doctor decided to change as well, as his jeans were not quite as comfortable as everyone made them out to be. He ached to be back in his suit but resisted the urge since he wanted to preserve it as long as he could. At least until the TARDIS was grown and capable of providing him with more. He really needed to get going on that.

A little while later they were both changed and comfy, sitting in front of the telly upstairs in the loft. Rose had brought up a large thick blanket while the Doctor carefully carried up their dinner. As they ate and poked fun at the previews, Rose thought back to the many times they had done this on the TARDIS and smiled as she realized how far they had come in just a handful of days. Once they were done eating, the empty containers and utensils were cast aside and she curled up against him, resting her head on his shoulder. The Doctor wrapped an arm around her and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head.

Yes, this was significantly better than the nervous and oftentimes awkward tension that had existed between them for so very long during their travels together. Back then she had almost convinced herself that she was alright with their friendship the way it was. Of course part of her would have always wanted more from him, but the Doctor was worth it and she would have taken him in whatever form he was willing to give her, regardless of what she felt. Equal parts guilt and elation filled her as she realized that she would not have to make that sacrifice anymore. She wondered what would become of her Time Lord and if he would someday find the kind of happiness he had gifted them. She wasn't sure if she would ever feel at peace about that uncertainty, but she knew she needed to push aside those thoughts and not let them interfere with what she and the man beside her were trying to build.

"What are you thinking about Rose?" The Doctor had peered down at her when she had grown uncharacteristically quiet and found that look in her eyes that meant she was far far away.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing really… just about how we used to do this on the TARDIS. I loved our movie nights."

The Doctor smiled warmly. "Oh yes, I did too!"

Sitting up a bit, Rose tilted her head in confusion. "You did? You always seemed so put out about it. I couldn't ever get you to shut up and quit criticizing my choice of films! 'Bloody waste of time, this is, Rose Tyler! We could be off exploring!' " Rose's impression was incredibly accurate and the Doctor couldn't help but laugh even though he was trying so very hard to look indignant.

"Well… I'll have you know, Rose, that while the films you chose were quite ridiculous at times, I did enjoy spending that time with you curled up on the couch… especially when you would get scared or sad and it gave me an excuse to put my arm around you." He wagged his eyebrows and his lopsided grin revealed that he thought he was so clever.

Rose laughed. "Oh Doctor, did it never occur to you that I might have been doing that on purpose?"

"You what?"

Rose just laughed. For someone so intelligent, he could be impossibly thick at times. "Well, I had to get you to somehow, didn't I? Screaming and crying seemed to do the trick quite well, actually. Superior Time Lord and all, you're still such a bloke. Worked like a charm!"

The look on his face was priceless.

"Rose Tyler, you little minx!"

Rose just grinned, tongue in teeth.

"Hmph! I can't believe you would play upon my sensitivities like that, see if I ever fall for it again!" And with that he crossed his arms over his chest and fixed his gaze on the screen. Rose could tell he was trying very hard to keep a scowl on his face by the way his mouth twitched.

Seven minutes and forty three seconds later, Rose gave a little squeal and inched herself ever so slightly closer to him, hands clutching the blanket over their laps. The Doctor let out an almighty sigh and put his arm back around her, rolling his eyes. Rose snuggled in, a satisfied smirk blooming across her face as the Doctor's pretend scowl was replaced with a smirk of his own. And to think she actually believed he was that oblivious. He couldn't help grinning at his cleverness.

"Yep, still got it indeed!" he thought to himself as he rested his head on hers.

After the movie was over, they stayed where they were and Rose shut off the telly. She reached over for the small remote she had used the day before and opened the dome ceiling so that they could lay back and watch the stars. The Doctor was astounded at how clearly they could be seen despite London's ambient light. Rose explained that Pete had thought of that and constructed the dome out of a special material they had developed for Torchwood's own telescopes and other equipment to monitor the skies. It wasn't the same as watching from the TARDIS doors, but far better than what would normally be possible in such a bright city.

Eventually they grew quiet and just lay there for a while, simply holding hands and staring up at the stars. The Doctor was the first one to break the silence.

"Rose… what you said this afternoon… about having all those panic attacks when you first got here, did you really?"

Turning her head to face him, she saw deep worry lines on his face.

"Yes Doctor, I did."

"When did they start? I mean, what brought them on?"

"Well… I had been here a few weeks I think. I'm not quite sure, actually. Time just sort of stopped for me back then. But I had finally started getting back into a somewhat normal routine again. Then one day I went shopping with mum, she wanted to get me out of the house and insisted. She thought a girls day out might cheer me up some so we went to the shops and… well, I saw a long brown coat in the window on a mannequin, and I just sort of… lost it. Mum was used to my tears, but this really scared her. Both of us, really, I thought I was dying… right and properly dying, you know?"

Remembering what it had felt like that afternoon, the Doctor squeezed her hand and swallowed hard. "Yes, I know."

"After that they just started coming more and more regularly. Sometimes they were triggered by something obvious, like bananas for instance. We went a whole year without them in the house. I think it drove Pete mad, but he went along with it, mum made him. Other times they just took me by surprise for no apparent reason at all. Those were the worst ones because I never saw them coming."

Turning on his side to face her, he scooted himself closer and pulled her into his arms. She snuggled close and held him just as tightly.

"Oh Rose… I can't- I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I never meant for you to-"

"Shhh, it's ok, Doctor. I know. I never blamed you, I still don't. It just happened and I know you would have come back for me if you could have. In a way, I'm oddly grateful that it did happen. Mum's got Pete now, and then there's Tony. I can't even imagine my life without him now! And being apart… it forced me to grow up and do hard things. Things I never dreamed I could ever be capable of doing, least of all without you by my side."

Smiling into her hair, the Doctor gently shook his head. "Rose Tyler, you'll never cease to amaze me."

Pulling back a bit in order to look up into his face, she smiled as well. "That's what I'm counting on."

"Oh? And why is that?"

"Well, because if we're lucky Doctor, we probably have a long and quite mundane life ahead of us… got to keep you intrigued somehow, or you just might change your mind about this whole human life thing."

The Doctor noted that she said this with a grin, but in her eyes he saw a vulnerability not common for Rose, and it pained him that she might actually believe he could ever grow tired of her.

"Oh Rose… trust me, you'll never get rid of me now. Besides, who else will keep Torchwood in line if not the Stuff of Legend, eh?"

Rose's eyes widened. "So you'll join me then? Really?"

"Really. Besides, with access to the labs we can get started on the TARDIS and then it will only be a few years before we're back among the stars!"

"So let me get this straight… you're just joining Torchwood to use our materials and technology?"

"Well, yeah. That and to keep you out of trouble, of course."

Rose looked thunderous for a moment and the Doctor wondered if he had been wrong to be so up front with his motives. But then Rose threw her head back and laughed.

"Gotcha! I was wondering how long it would take you to come up with that! Why do you think I took you down to the labs in the first place?"

Feeling like he'd been had, the Doctor was slightly offended but quickly got over it as he watched Rose laughing so hard she began to cry. It was good to see her this light and happy again. He lived for these moments. He always had from the second he had grabbed her hand and whispered, "Run!"

The Doctor didn't get his wish of falling asleep on the couch together again that night. Instead, Rose slept in his arms beneath the stars. He really couldn't complain.


	19. Chapter 19

Morning brought with it a feeling of surrealism for both Rose and the Doctor. The latter of course had not slept long, but when he awoke and found himself serving once more as a pillow for his Rose, he couldn't help but wonder what he had done to deserve the universe's kindness. Her arm was wrapped around his waist and her head rested on his chest. Though awake, he kept his eyes closed for a few minutes and just enjoyed the sensation of having her this close. He lightly ran his hand through her hair and though she stirred slightly, Rose just snuggled closer into him and continued sleeping.

Somewhere out there, amongst the galaxies traveled a lonely man who deserved this just as much, perhaps even more than he did, yet it was he that got to keep her instead. A tightness in his chest reminded him to take a deep breath and try to focus on happier thoughts. His anxiety for his other self's fate seemed to get worse as his own personal happiness increased. Not wanting to have another episode like he had had the previous day at Torchwood, the Doctor tried to banish those thoughts from his mind. He did however make a mental vow to himself to never take a single moment of this new life with Rose for granted. He knew the trust that had been placed in him and he owed it to his other self to live a fantastic life with her and make sure that she was as happy as possible.

He wondered if he would be equal to the task. The past few days had certainly been taking a turn for the better, and that was comforting but he still felt unsure at times that he would be enough. Perhaps it was that little bit of Donna in him, or perhaps it was the absence of his TARDIS and their usual way of life. Either way, he hated not feeling in control of the future, unable to more clearly see the ebb and flow of their timelines, how they intertwined and how they ended… together or separate. The limited grasp he still had on that Time Lord ability should have at least allayed his fears but at the moment all it did was frustrate and remind him of the things he had lost… he felt inadequate and once again wondered if Rose might not come to that conclusion herself one day.

He had always been prone to dark thoughts, particularly after the Time War when he was all black leather and big ears. However, back then he had his TARDIS and all of space and time to run to in an effort to get away from his fears and regrets. The Doctor in brown had said that he was now like that again, dark and brooding, the way Rose had first encountered. It was true, back then she had saved him from himself and all his anger and self-loathing. With her he had begun to enjoy his existence again and had learned to open his hearts to things he had sworn to lock away and never experience again because it was just too painful when they were lost. She had helped him thaw out in a matter of speaking, and he would always be better for it, regardless of the pain it sometimes brought. Looking down at her, he was greeted with a messy crown of golden hair which he kissed softly. He turned slightly so that they were facing each other a bit more and he could pull her closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his face against her head, taking another deep breath and smiling at the fruity scent of her shampoo. If anyone could pull him out of his self-inflicted dark thoughts, it was his Rose. He knew things would get better when he had a fully functioning TARDIS to tinker with and whisk them away on, but for now she would be his lifeline much like she had been when they first met… and probably much like she would continue to be for the rest of his life.

When Rose finally opened her eyes, she felt a pair of arms squeeze her gently. She didn't remember falling asleep and certainly hadn't planned it that way, but waking up snuggled into the Doctor, their legs tangled together, and his heartbeat in her ear was quite possibly the best feeling in the world. She made a happy noise in the back of her throat and buried her face deeper into him, not wanting to move. Not now, not ever. She half expected him to bounce off the bed-like couch and drag her up with him now that she was awake, but much to her surprise, he just held her tight and began to run his hand up and down her back in a soothing motion.

Given the way she had lost control with him up here a few days ago and that horrifying conversation that followed, Rose couldn't help but feel somewhat embarrassed and a bit fearful of the mixed signals he might think she was sending him at the moment. The truth was that she was nowhere near being ready for more intimacy than what they currently shared and hoped that this was ok for now. They were no strangers to unspoken boundaries so she knew that patience was not necessarily the problem. Though she had to admit, knowing that something shouldn't or couldn't be made respecting those boundaries a lot easier. Now that all the rules had been thrown out the TARDIS doors, so to speak, she wondered how long they could keep this up. Feeling the need to give them some space, she rubbed her eyes and stretched, withdrawing her legs and flopping onto her back. The Doctor made no move to stop her but kept one arm casually draped over her abdomen as the other pulled back and propped up his head as he lay facing her.

"Morning, sleepyhead."

She could hear the smile in his voice, even though her eyes were scrunched closed as she arched her back and wiggled her toes. When she was done rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she turned her head and smiled at him a bit shyly.

"Hi… sorry I fell asleep on you, I didn't mean to. That's twice now. You know can just wake me up, right? I don't mind."

The Doctor grinned. "Now why would I want to do that?"

"I don't know… I just… I mean, you can if you want, that's all… I can't imagine watching me sleep is all that exciting."

"Rose Tyler, there is nothing in this universe I'd rather be doing."

Something in his eyes and the tone of his voice made her believe him. She scooted back over and rested her head on his chest again, fingers idly playing with the collar of his t-shirt. She smiled and looked up at him, her eyes shining with mischief.

"At least until you have the TARDIS to tinker with again, yeah?"

"Weeeeell, perhaps even then."

He chuckled softly and dropped a quick kiss on her forehead. Before he could pull away, however, Rose lifted her hand from his collar to his face and held him there as she tilted her face up some more and wiggled her way up to reach his lips with her own. They kissed slowly and lazily, content to take their time with one another. Rose toyed with the idea of telling herself where she could shove those boundaries she'd just been fretting over. She indulged in those thoughts for a few seconds but reason finally won over and the Doctor helped by pulling away carefully. He wore a sort of shocked expression on his face and an almost knowing smile.

Grinning up at him, she traced his lips with her finger. "What?"

"Rose… I… you remember how I can use a form of telepathy, right?"

"Yeah…"

"You've seen me use it before. And you know I would never, ever invade someone's mind without their permission?"

"Of course, Doctor. You used it on me after that whole mess with the acolytes of Lagnos and asked my permission about fifty times!" Where was he going with this? Did he want to show her something?

"Right… well, the thing is… this new body of mine, well my mind is still mostly the same of course, though some of my Time Lord capabilities are a bit altered. Strictly speaking, my telepathy seems to still be intact, but the mechanics behind it… well, you see, most Gallifreyans tended to be touch-telepaths, meaning we almost always need some sort of physical contact to establish the mind link. Not that it can't be done without it in some cases, but I suppose it's just easier to get the synaptic relay-"

Rose sighed. He was rambling the way he did when he was nervous. What in the world was he trying to tell her? Perhaps he'd been contemplating those annoying boundaries as well? Maybe he wanted to show her some of his memories to help her feel more comfortable with him. Was she really ready for this? Was _he_? Feeling a bit giddy and nervously optimistic, she cut him off with a finger over his lips and a reassuring smile

"Doctor, yes I get it. Now what is it you're trying to tell me? Just spit it out, yeah?"

Clearing his throat and looking away, he reached up and tugged on his ear.

"Well, you see… I… well, I sort of… I mean, you were practically screaming at me with your mind, I couldn't help…"

Realization washed over Rose and her stomach clenched in horror.

"Oh my – Doctor! You were inside my head just now?!" She quickly sat up, pulling away and snatching up the blanket to cover herself though she was fully dressed and not exposed in any sort of way… not physically, anyway.

The Doctor sat up as well, remorse clearly written all over his face.

"Rose, I'm sorry! You have to believe me, it was an accident! I didn't just barge in there on purpose, it was a complete surprise to me as well when it happened. That's why I pulled away. I'm so sorry!"

And to think she thought he was just trying to… oh this was bad. Just when they seemed to be getting past most of the awkwardness, something like this just had to happen. Rose wanted to die. Her thoughts he'd apparently seen just then had been quite… bold.

The Doctor ran his hands through his hair, clenching at it with his fists. Now he'd done it.

Rose couldn't even look at him. She just sat there, knees drawn to her chest, clutching the blanket to her. This was the very scenario she had always feared back on the TARDIS when her thoughts often ran rampant and it's why she had never wanted to allow him access to her mind in the first place. Not that he had ever asked… well, except for that one time after the Lagnos ordeal, but it was more to reassure her of what had been real and what had not than anything else. He had only shown her things, he'd not taken any information, though he had instructed her on how to place barriers up over things she did not want seen, just in case.

They sat there in stunned silence for a few more seconds. Then he spoke, quietly, haltingly.

"Rose… please, believe me. I would never purposely invade your privacy like that, never ever."

Rose scrubbed her eyes with her palms, trying to grind the thought of him seeing what she was thinking out of her mind with shear force.

She sighed. "I know..."

"And… just so you know, you're not alone in… in how you feel… about… about that."

She chanced a quick glance up at him, and found him sitting cross-legged and fiddling with a corner of the blanket, staring down at his lap, face red.

"Yeah?"

Reaching up to rub the back of his neck, the Doctor nodded and gave a quick chuckle.

"Yeah."

Rose found herself blushing as well but she couldn't help but smile a little.

"Right… well then…"

"But Rose… I know I've said this already but I'll say it again. You don't owe me anything and we've got plenty of time for… well, you know. Weeeell, when I say plenty of time I suppose that's more finite now, isn't it? Not to say that you should feel pressured because in no way did I mean-"

Maybe it was how sweet he was being, or perhaps it was how mortified he sounded, but right then and there Rose Tyler lost all shame and wanted nothing more than to shut him up and show him once more what she had been thinking, only not with her mind this time. Thankfully, she still possessed a shred of self-control and began to laugh instead.

The Doctor, having been stopped mid ramble again, just stared. He almost looked a little hurt. Rose wanted to assure him that she wasn't laughing at him but found herself unable to form an intelligible word. She couldn't stop laughing and eventually fell back onto her side, curled up and clutching her stomach, tears rolling down her face.

"Rose?"

But to no avail, every time she tried to say something, her words just came out garbled which made her laugh even harder. The Doctor was starting to look a bit indignant, which only made Rose's fit worse because the mixture of embarrassment and annoyance on his face was so endearing.

"Rose Tyler, will you please tell me what you find so incredibly hilarious? I'm trying to be serious here."

But the sight of Rose rolling around, clutching her side, and cackling like a mad woman was too much, even for the cross half Time Lord. Quite by accident and very much against his will, laughter began to bubble up out of him and soon he too was on his back laughing and carrying on just as bad.

When they could hardly breathe any longer, they lay on their sides panting and facing one another. Rose reached for his hand as the other wiped away the last of her tears.

"I'm sorry Doctor, I wasn't laughing at you, I promise."

Smiling, he nodded, believing her. "So what was it then?"

"It's just all a bit ridiculous, isn't it? We're adults, and there we were tip-toeing around this big elephant in the room like a pair of teenagers! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have overreacted like that."

"Well, it's uncharted territory though, isn't it?"

"Well, sure… for us. But it's not like we've not _danced_ before, right? I mean, with… others."

The Doctor grinned. "Right."

"And you did promise to show me your moves, oh ages ago, didn't you?"

Recalling that particular conversation, the Doctor beamed. "That I did… Though I never actually thought I ever could."

"Well, you can now… I mean, not _now_ now!" Against her will and despite the pretty little speech about being an adult about this, Rose began to feel her face grow hot again.

The Doctor laughed. "I know what you meant, Rose. And I really did mean what I said about not wanting you to feel pressured. When my mind took that unexpected detour into yours, I also felt your reservations, and I share those as well, you know."

"You do?"

"Blimey, do I ever! Nevermind the dancing bit, though it's been an eternity since I last… well anyway, what I mean to say is that it's been even longer since I allowed myself to care about anyone the way I have for you, Rose. This is scarier than an army of Cybermen. I've always been a bit rubbish at this. I just… I don't want to do anything to jeopardize things, does that make sense?"

Rose smiled tenderly and nodded.

"Yes, it does… I don't want to be too hasty either. And you're not rubbish at this now. I'm getting there, Doctor, being ok with this… with how everything turned out, but you're right, I'm not all the way there yet. You… you understand, don't you? I'm sorry, I don't mean to hurt you by saying that but I need to be honest with you."

A sad smile spread across his face, and it pained Rose to see it, but he nodded his head and squeezed her hand before she could say something else.

"Of course, Rose, and thank you for your honesty. I want you to always feel comfortable telling me the truth, no matter what it is." He leaned over and holding her face in both his hands, gave her a kiss on the forehead.

Rose smiled and gave a contented sigh. "So we're alright then?"

"Better than alright."

"Good, because I like how things are going. Now… how about some breakfast, eh? Then we need to go pick up your suits and stop by the grocer's. We've got dinner with Donna tonight, remember?"

Rose had said the magic words. In an instant, the Doctor had sprung up and was dragging Rose up off the couch as well.

"My suits! And Donna, Rose, Donna! Molto bene! Allons-y!" And with that he turned and practically jumped off the loft banister in his excitement to get downstairs and started on their day. Rose could hear him searching for the keys and rolled her eyes. She heard the door open.

"Doctor, you _have_ to get dressed first!" Shaking her head, she laughed and went after him, afraid he would already be to the lift before she could stop him.


End file.
